Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Elevenses and Ready-Steady-Cook Meeting, held on the 26th April 2003 in the Garden and Room 1, 3 Selwyn Gardens

Present: Rosy, Rachel, Katie, Dunstan, Naath, Owen, David, Jonathan, John-h, Roz, Martin, Alison, Debbie, Rachel C

Apologies: Jenny, Rosie, Neil, Catherine, Jack


  1. Meeting opened (in Grange Road).

  2. Meeting opened again (by Owen).

  3. The bay tree looks like Martin.

  4. Letís escape politics: Passed.

  5. Vote to make Len Fisher (the biscuit dunking research man) an honorary member: Passed.

  6. The secretary should write to Len Fisher and tell him so: Passed.

  7. Owen goes to check that Martin, who we saw arrive a few minutes ago but who hasnít made it as far as the garden, isnít in the house stealing the computer. (And to make tea)

  8. This [points to plastic bag] is Owen: Passed.

  9. Roz got in!!! Sheís got a place on a course in London next year.

  10. Next year, instead of PoohSoc meetings, we will have Roz expounding on what sheís learnt that week: Failed (not 2/3 majority).

  11. Alison and John-h are taking a long time in Owenís room.

  12. Roz has a very vivid memory of sucking sweets up straws in the Yorkshire archaeological library, but it may have been a dream. Sheíll ask the person she was doing it with if they remember it too.

  13. Votes to censure John-h for not sending us a postcard last month: Passed.

  14. We will commend him for his honesty in not trying to blame the postal service:?

  15. If we beat him to a pulp, then weíll commend him for honesty:?

  16. Martinís so clever he can pre-empt John-hís thoughts: Passed.

  17. The Foreign Secretary will write to Channel Four to point out that A.A. Milne did not dream Pooh up, he was a real bear: Passed.

  18. We should censure Dunstan for saying heíd written the letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury when he hadnít: Passed.

  19. Censure Dunstan first, heíll explain later: Passed.

  20. Censure Dunstan: Passed.

  21. Is Grace coming? I donít know, Iíve never met her.

  22. Katie is Grace, Dunstan is Favour, and Katie is Latin: Passed.

  23. Letís stop talking politics: Passed.

  24. Martin spoke and politics came to a "."

  25. The coastguard has to be a pantomime centipede: Passed.

  26. Jam! Jam! Jam!

  27. Ooooo! Crumpets!

  28. Owenís absence is very nearly omnipresent as it is everywhere Owen isnít.

  29. "Who is Dunstan up against? Roz.": Somebody

  30. First biscuit husting: Chocolate chip cookies. (Dunstan)

  31. Owen proves that he is not gentile, but most impressively manages not to cover the assembled company in biscuit crumbs.

  32. "Oh no! Mineís collapsed!": John-h

  33. Rhymes for cookie.

  34. Votes to mandate Dunstan to write a poem about cookies: Passed.

  35. Dunstan dunks his biscuit in Rozís tea.

  36. Second biscuit husting: Pink wafer biscuits. (Roz)

  37. Votes to censure Late for being late: Failed.

  38. It would be more of a challenge to throw John-h over the wall than over the fence.

  39. The pink wafer biscuit packet says "chocolate chip cookies", but of course we know better.

  40. The Foreign secretary is to write to the manufacturers of pink wafer biscuits and ask why they are pink: Passed.

  41. You! You! [Indicates Martin] just go away.

  42. The pink wafer biscuits are quite shockingly pink. Passed.

  43. They are blatantly pink wafer biscuits: Passed.

  44. After two dunks, this one still hadnít gone soggy.

  45. Votes to censure the secretary for not bringing the minutes: Passed.

  46. Despite this: Minutes of the meeting on 20/4/03 are read out.

  47. Neilís not here because heís a vampire and weíre meeting outside.

  48. Votes to censure Alison for failing to hang her head in shame for the rest of last meeting: Passed.

  49. Votes to make her hang her head in shame for the rest of this meeting: Hung CR decides 48.

  50. Invisible imps are tickling Naath.

  51. David has to leave now. He takes his plate with him! (Owenís had it since the start of last term)

  52. Biscuit vote:
    Chocolate Chip Cookies: 6
    Pink wafer biscuits: 6
    Abstentions: 2

  53. Votes to censure Alison for doubting that they are Pink Wafer Biscuits: Passed.

  54. Be a man: chunky chocolate chip.

  55. Revote:
    Chocolate Chip Cookies: 6
    Pink wafer biscuits: 6
    Abstentions: 2
    (still counting Davidís vote)

  56. Much bickering about which biscuit wins.

  57. We decide that the Pink Wafer Biscuits win as David has now left.

  58. Back onto other things: Passed.

  59. John-h has problems with his masculinity. He feels threatened by a biscuit: Passed.

  60. We should read counter-anti-reverse clockwise: Passed.

  61. Weíll choose who narrates by spin the bottle: Passed.

  62. Reading: In which Kanga and Baby Roo come to the Forest and Piglet has a bath.

  63. Neil does an evil Rabbit.

  64. Neil is a mafia boss.

  65. We should censure Neil for not siphoning off some of the money he launders through our bank account for the Society: Passed.

  66. Votes to censure them for talking about non-Pooh-related material: If a vote was ever taken on this on the result is not recorded.

  67. John-h: "This chair is the best form of contraception, as has been proved by Martin and I."

  68. We discuss, at some length and with much confusion, the ingredients available for the Ready Steady Cook and what weíre going to make with them.

  69. Martin to John-h: "Naath doesnít want you to use contraception."

  70. "Do we have to eat the aubergines? Canít we just stroke them?" Roz

  71. Dunstan will peel the potatoes.

  72. Martin is Rozís slave: Passed.

  73. Martin will provide the cabaret.

  74. John-h is sharpening his invisible pencil.

  75. For your next challenge, you must eat an entire squid in its own ink: Passed.

  76. The above is a challenge for Neil: Passed.

  77. Votes to mandate Neil to do 24 million hours community service: Failed.

  78. Votes to mandate Martin to do 24 million hours community service: Failed.

  79. More minutes by Alison should be somewhere about.



  80. Votes to censure Christopher Robin and The Foreign Secretary for conspiring to assassinate the under-secretary: Passed

  81. "Put my bowel in the washing up - I want it nice and clean" Naath

  82. Water: Passed

  83. Wind: Passed

  84. Damn it: Passed

  85. Votes for Rosy or Owen to stay in the room at all times to prevent Alison having ultimate power: Passed

  86. "Rosie is a blue plate. Round. Flat. Blue."

  87. Rachel Cís plans for a floating ceilidh. (K-Lee)

  88. Roz had to be encouraged up Great Gable with a trail of polos. (oo-er)

  89. Katie is not as old as she should be.

  90. Dessert is the entire point of a meal: Passed

  91. "The whole point maybe, but with that much sugar it will hardly be sharp" Dunstan aka 007

  92. "Iíll have to think of something to give you in return" Dunstan to Alison

  93. Charades!

  94. Votes to censure Martin for the heinous crime of shamefully preventing a girl from reaching chocolate: Passed

  95. Feeding Rhubarb to Rabbits will kill them (are we planning to avoid this or experiment?)

  96. "Rachel come here, I want to whisper in your ear" Roz

  97. Someone has glued the squid to the plate with superglue.

  98. The President decides to take a committee photo even though all the committee arenít present.

  99. The under-secretary points out that this is utterly futile and besides which sheís a mess.

  100. Christopher Robin attempts to drag the under-secretary onto the bed. (this may have nothing to do with the photo)

  101. Dunstan refuses to man handle Alison onto the bed. Good for him.

  102. The rest of the committee viscously restrain the under-secretary and take pictures while theyíre all thrashing around on the floor.

  103. B$£%$*^£. I hate you all.

  104. "If we all purr convincingly heíll come out and rub against our knees" Roz

  105. "I gave you one earlier" Alison to Dunstan

  106. "La, la, la, la, la, la" Naath

  107. Votes to censure Martin for Severe Evilness: Hung, CR for

  108. Mandate Martin to do the next charade: Passed

  109. Heís got thirty seconds then we throw things: Passed

  110. The president is thrown at Martin in fulfilment of 109.

  111. We should have a bouncy castle so we could tie Martin up and throw him on it: Hung, CR against (unsurprisingly)

  112. Next weeks meeting: Magdelene, Buckingham court, room E1 or maybe not

  113. Naathís sword is bendy

  114. We partake in group washing up.

  115. "Martin is finally giving in to my demands" Alison

  116. "Knives are not for hurting Alison with" Roz

  117. Martin - The Phantom of the Kitchen

  118. Votes to close: Passed


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