Present: Dunstan, Naath, Rosy, Rachel H, Jack, Alison, Martin, Owen, Neil, Rachel C

Apologies: Jenny, Rosie, Roz, Katie, Jonathan, John-h, Rachel C (for her bag), Neil (on behalf of Rachel’s bad)

1. Meeting opened.
   


2. This sofa is attempting to eat me: Passed.
   


3. Carcinogenic, leprous barbeques.
   


4. Milk is always optional, in Lapsang, in Orange Tea, on cereal, on fruit salad
   


5. Do Rosys eat Alisons?
   


6. It’s a good job Rosy doesn’t have to eat Dunstan as he’s a big meal.
   


7. "I’m only half dressed so I look a little odd." Roz
   


8. Minutes of the meeting on 7th June 2003 are read out.
   


9. Roz found an "ooer" in the Matrix, Owen found a similarity between Lloyd Grossman and Agent Smith.
   


10. "Any exciting letters this week?" "Q"
    


11. Yes. Actually no. Hang on, I’m not sure. (An attack of Mathmo uncertainty)
    


12. Alison, attempting to divert attention from some earlier ill-advised remark, comments on the Great Tits in Dunstan’s Garden. After a little while she is advised to put down the spade and step away from the hole.
    


13. We are being carried forward by the momentous tide of history, the grand traditions of the Society are of immense importance and yes, of course the red cash box is important.
    


14. Votes to censure Alison for not knowing the colour of the cash box. Passed.
    


15. Votes to commend the chocolate chip digestive for the remarkable feat they have achieved: Passed.
    


16. We speculate as to the origin of the meat in the Wok 2 U (or something) meals. None of the possibilities suggested is appealing.
    


17. Votes to censure Late and Early for not being here: Failed.
    


18. The Rabbit’s Quiz.
    


19. The reading, as is traditional at the end of Easter Term, is the last chapter of the New Testament: "In which Christopher Robin and Pooh come to an Enchanted Place, and we leave them there."
    


20. Rachel C arrives. Late. Too late, even, to read her part as Late.
    


21. There will be a role call (at the Poohsticks Bridge Crawl) and if you aren’t there, then there will be consequences. The consequences are unspecified, but they’re often more sinister thus.
    


22. The role call will take the form of "Roll! Roll! Here Roll! There’s a good Roll! Roll!"
    


23. The most important duty of the President is to run the Society whilst the rest of us do nothing.
    


24. Votes to censure Roz for paying no attention at all to what Rachel was saying. Passed.
    


25. The above was the Sympathy Vote.
    


26. "Oh, is Rachel husting?" Roz
    


27. "Oh. She’s husting." Roz.
    


28. Fox’s Golden Crunch Creams are a health hazard. They try to bite your tongue off.
    


29. Dunstan lives in a Green-house.
    


30. We should measure Dunstan every year to see if he’s grown.
    


31. Dunstan has only once opened the door into his head.
    


32. Votes to censure all of them. (Jack, Alison, Neil, Martin, Rachel): Passed. (Attempt to veto unsuccessful.)
    


33. If this motion fails the censuring does not stand. Failed.
    


34. The Martin and Owen Society would never decide anything due to endless wrangling. Any disputes should therefore be solved by Trial by Ordeal.
    


35. Biscuit vote: (or not)
    


36. If Rachel says nothing, she won’t have said her last word and we can’t legally kill her.
    


37. Biscuit Votes: Choc Chip Digestives: Crunch Creams: Abstentions - 3:3:1
    


38. Try again - 3:4:1.
    


39. Vote for the catch-all James motion. Passed.
    


40. Votes to censure Neil because the James didn’t abstain. Passed.
    


41. We move inside to watch the video.
    


42. Neil reports the Society’s expenditure (£6.03) on the new web address.
    


43. Neil should raise money for the Society by selling off the clothes he’s currently wearing: Passed.
    


44. Neil should sit on that chair with his legs wrapped around Rachel’s neck: Passed.
    


45. It’s easy to confuse Owen with a woman in a car: Passed.
    


46. We’ve all been working really hard, we haven’t watched Dunstan’s video: Passed.
    


47. If anyone falls through the ceiling it’ll be Dunstan’s bed: Passed.
    


48. If Rachel wants to commit a murder, she and her friends are ideally set up for a conspiracy. The medic will kill the victim, Rachel will bury the body, and the lawyers will act for them if they get caught.
    


49. I’m sure it wasn’t you, I’m sure it was Martin: Passed.
    


50. Neil is actually a squirrel. Hung. CR decides against.
    


51. Neil is in fact a Vampiric Dormouse: Passed.
    


52. To decode the above, search "Lonely Rodents Club".
    


53. Anyone who wouldn’t want us as members must be silly: Passed.
    


54. Votes to censure them for discussing non-Pooh-related material: Failed.
    


55. Votes to censure them for mistaking Potter for Pooh-related material: Passed.
    


56. Votes to make Alison write to J K Rowling and tell her she’s Winnie the Pooh: Failed.
    


57. Votes to ban people from reading any words not in the Testaments, Constitution or Minutes: Passed.
    


58. The Maths Tripos: Hung, CR Against (Martin failed it)
    


59. The English Language: Passed.
    


60. If we get bored during the Garden Party we can all draw pictures of Martin.
    


61. Nail gun the tail on the Eeyore: Hung, CR Against.
    


62. Industrial rivet the tail on the Eeyore sounds more fun.
    


63. Owen will be resigning immediately before the game if anybody’s brought anything like (waves hands): Passed.
    


64. We discuss means of creating Eeyores in a hurry.
    


65. We should pin the picture of Eeyore to Owen and then pin the tail to the picture: Passed
    


66. Owen doesn’t think he’s going to be at the Garden Party: Passed.
    


67. Owen will be at the Garden Party even if Roz has to bring him in a box: Passed.
    


68. Roz should bring Owen to the Garden Party in a box with a little bow on top: Hung, CR against.
    


69. Roz should bring Owen to the Garden Party with a little bow on top: Passed.
    


70. Votes to close: Failed.
    


71. We do want to know Dunstan’s opinion: Passed
    


72. We receive a brief history of the Schisms of The Round.
    


73. Next week’s meeting, at Magdalene, in the Fellows’ Garden if fine, in E1 Buckingham Court if not.
    


74. Votes to close: Hung. CR for.
    

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