Minutes of the Sheila and Her Dog Society meeting

Held on Thursday 10th May 2007 in 122, Peile, Newnham College

present: Philip, Simeon, Dan, Jack, Steve, Emma, Beetle, Emily, Dorian, Catalina

  1. As part of routine price-checks on Enemy Societies, secretary decides to go under-cover and infiltrate a Sheila meeting in order to discover what goes on there.
  2. By means of investigation, secretary discovers location of meeting and telephone numbers for two contacts.
  3. Secretary dons disguise as a Harmless Assassin and cunningly disguises his notebook by writing “THIS IS A CUDDLY TOY” on it in large letters.
  4. Secretary wanders around, hopelessly lost, for half an hour.
  5. rescued by Emma P. & Steve McC.
  6. Upon arrival at the Sheila meeting, those already present appear to be reading stories about a young boy called William.
  7. The members are not altogether convinced by my “cuddly toy”'s disguise, and threaten to remove my windows if I am found to be taking minutes.
  8. The consumption of chocolate brownies, together with chocolate chip cookies, Walkers sensations, fruit juice, Jaffa Cakes and other items of confectionary is evident.
  9. The membership discusses the Cracking of Nuts.
  10. “Stop prodding me, I don't even know your name!” – Catalina
  11. “Yes, Philip, do us all.” – Jack
  12. Some of the minutes are stolen.  Clearly the disguise is failing.
  13. The rotational symmetry of the meeting is discussed.
  14. The society seems to pass most of its time reading childrens stories, with one person narrating and one person on each part, much as our own Society reads the stories of Winnie-the-Pooh, but with three main differences:
    1. Instead of rotating only the narrator, all the parts are rotated at the same time, usually in the same direction and by the same about.
    2. The appropriateness of the voices used is dubious at best.
    3. The accuracy of the reading of the lines has much room for improvement.
  15. As there are not enough texts of William – The Outlaw to go around, the part of Mrs Brown – and, later, Mr Brown – is read from Biochemistry by Christopher Matthews and K. E. van Holde instead.
  16. The closing of the meeting is marked by the dropping of a penguin, and shortly afterwards, the assembly disperses.
  17. “Sagittarius would look hot in a nappy.” – Beth

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