MINUTES OF THE PEMBROKE COLLEGE WINNIE-THE-POOH SOCIETY: ELEVENSES MEETING, 11/05/96

Held, at 4 p.m., in the President's room, W10.
Present: Tim, Jon, Tor, Alex, Stephen, Angela, Daniel P. Bennett Esq. (Angela's boyfriend), Vicky, and Theodore (Vicky's teddy-bear).
Apologies: Sarah (gone home to work).


  1. Tor carries out experiments to see how many marshmallows she can get in her mouth.

  2. Angela is wearing Winnie-the-Pooh socks: Huw has competition!

  3. Tor proclaims, "CAKE!" in an impossibly high voice. Jon gets crumbs on the minutes.

  4. Vicky introduces Theodore to the assembled company. Tor wants to know why he's called Theodore, Tim seems to think he should have a pushchair (Theodore, that is, not Tim...). Vicky says Theodore is an academic bear.

  5. Tor wants to know how long it takes to suffocate a teddy-hear, and nearly uses Theodore as a test subject. Tim reckons about three minutes, but less if you tickle them.

  6. Vicky announces her parents are going to a jazz concert: Tor's father is going to Saudi Arabia, so there!

  7. Martin Harvey (Tim's next-door neighbour) butts in but retreats apologetically when he realises the Society is in occupation.

  8. Tim apparently does a minor striptease, but he does so behind the Secretary, who is therefore unable to give details. Some shabby excuse about getting wet punting is offered by Tim.

  9. Tim announces that the Garden Party will be on Saturdray 15th June, at 2 p.m.

  10. It is remembered that the Queen probably won't be able to come because of the Trooping of the Colour. Angela suggests inviting them too, and Jon agrees to do so.

  11. Tor has an attack of republicanism, and doesn't want us to invite the Queen. She wants Jon to in fact write specifically not to invite her. Alex thinks this is high treason, and suggests that we do so, so that Jon's hanging can provide garden party entertainment.

  12. Huw arrives, with Mr. Men socks on. Huw's socks will have to be left to the nation.

  13. Tor has attempted to make Jon 'marble tea', and wants to know if it tastes layered.

  14. Tim says something about homemade honey: Tor immediately declares that he's a bee. He admits it and buzzes by way of proof. But in actual fact, the honey came from a friend in Germany: "Tim has friends!" remarks Huw incredulously.

  15. Huw is introduced to Theodore: a short debate about who has the sillier name follows.

  16. Alex reads the minutes of last weeks meeting, with very heavy sub-editing, I fear her scruples are more refined than is usual in the Society...

  17. Tor tells a story about Gavin and some washing-up liquid, which he drank despite Tor and James both assuring him it was in fact washing-up liquid, and not, as he believed, milk. Full points Gavin!

  18. The question of Daisy and Dan Carroll is brought up again: the general consensus is the sky must be a different colour in Daisy's world...

  19. Controversy over Fiona Savage, who protested about not being pigeon-holed, but hasn't deigned to grace us with her presence now that super-efficient Stephen has remedied this.

  20. The question of College cats as honorary members comes up: last week we made Lucky an Honorary Member, but he is not in fact the College Cat, that being Socks.

  21. Angela wants her goldfish to be made honorary members.

  22. Tor is a piscicide! She once killed one of her goldfish by putting a mug down on it while cleaning the tank.

  23. Angela reads: the reading is from The House at Pooh Corner. 'In which Tigger is unbounced'.

  24. Tor is unable to suppress snickers at the phrases, "A stiffening sort of nudge," and, "He felt he was somewhere else." (What? She's sick.)

  25. Tor proposes an alternative plot where Tigger doesn't make it back from the Expotition

  26. Angela misses the crucial word 'it' from the phrase, "That's what they always get over with.' Tor thinks this is a Freudian slip.

  27. Vicky loses it totally: for some reason she is unable to look at Angela without collapsing into helpless giggles. Angela fears it's her reading; Huw says he thought James was very good last week. I also have something in the notes about Huw and and a hood, but I have no idea what I meant when I wrote it down.

  28. Tor throws Theodore across the room. but Vicky catches him.

  29. Tor points outs "Tim's ceiling doesn't touch his walls."

  30. Tapani arrives, quite hugely late.

  31. Theodore is kidnapped by Huw, and thrown to Tapani.

  32. Tor takes over the reading: the Secretary regrets forgetting his earplugs.

  33. Tor has comprehension problems with the reading, and proceeds to give comments on it as she reads: the result is extremely confusing.

  34. Tor attempts to explain to us all why the phrase, "Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind," is funny. Shockingly, she fails.

  35. Pooh's excuse of the small piece of fluff in his ear is noted by Alex for her next supervision.

  36. Angela, as Tigger, fails to produce an adequate 'loud yapping', but bounces very well indeed, which annoys Huw who's at the other end of the bed.

  37. Tor decides the story ends too abruptly and makes up a better ending on the spot.

  38. Tim's datepalm is remarked upon.

  39. When Tor was seven she got a birthday card from the Cookie Monster. This seems to be actually true. She is a truly privileged person.

  40. The shortage of events for the garden party is discussed. Jon suggests a 'film noir' version of Pooh, but noone seems to agree.

  41. Tapani produces liquorice: Tor claims they make it out of slugs, but then finds the word 'panda' on then packet and changes her mind.

  42. Tim and Angela have a long conversation about medical conditions induced by liquorice.

  43. Jon Produces an e-mail from a strange Australian acquaintance of his who wants to start an Antipodean chapter of the Society. The possibility of international Poohsticks is seized upon: Angela suggests chucking logs into the Gulf Stream.

  44. Paddling pool Poohsticks is suggested for the Garden Party.

  45. Helen arrives!

  46. Tor departs after testing all her joints with suitable creaking noises.

  47. The backyard of 4 Fitzwilliam Street will be next week's venue, weather permitting.

  48. Helen suggests a Winnie-the-Pooh barbershop quartet: she coopts Pauli, in his absence, to compose it. If not compose, he will certainly have to conduct, if only for comedy value.

  49. It is suggested that we co-opt Will Carslake again: Tim says,, "Will's got stilts and lots of other exciting things!"

  50. The difficulties of international Poohsticks are discussed: would Poohtwigs be cheaper? Poohleaves? Poohhens? (I don't know who suggested that but their medication is clearly too strong. )

  51. Different methods of Poohstick playing for the overland version: the 'Jon' version is that you get two separate people to send one neutral person a stick; the 'Vicky' version is that two people send each other sticks at the same time. Both versions are officially endorsed by the Lady Foundress under those titles.

  52. Tor is tired of being James: Angela volunteers for the post. Motion that Tor should cease to be James and that Angela should be instead is approved as constitutional by the Secretary: For, 7, Against, 0, Abs., 3,. Motion carried, Angela is now James.

  53. Jon proposes Vicky for Wol, but it is agreed that this will have to wait till next week when Sarah will be back and able to hust in her defence. Huw proposes a mud-fight or a wet t-shirt contest to decide. Vicky proposes instead that the contest be to get a wet t-shirt onto Huw, but realises that neither contestant will want to win. There will be Hustings for the Post of Wol next week.

  54. Jon suggests that Helen brings her nice new tent to 4 Fitz Street next week, but this is apparently tricky since she only owns half of it and doesn't want to borrow the other half.

  55. Jon proposes that Shell, the aforementioned mad Aussie (Michelle Cox, for reference), be made an Honorary Member in recognition of her commitment to the cause: For, 5, Against 1 (Tapani - is this appropriate for the Foreign Secretary?), Abs., 3. Motion carried.

  56. Invitations to the Garden Party: Helen will cover Dominic and her grandmother among the Honorary Members. Jon will do the rest, Tim will design an invitation for members.

  57. Angela departs, and the meeting closes rapidly afterwards.


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