Minutes of The Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Annual General Meeting, held on the 6th March in N7, Pembroke College
Present: Rosy, Dunstan, Owen, Martin, Alison, Katie, Jon-h, Rachel C, Rachel H, Michelle, Matthew, Jack, Naath, Nick, Tom
Apologies: Roz, Various people who turned up for some of the meeting, anyway.
Rosy opens the meeting.
Votes to censure jack for wearing non-pooh related material: passed
Votes to censure Jack for not abstaining: passed
Votes to censure the Tolkien Society for holding their AGM on the same day as ours: passed
The minute writer has ultimate power: passed
Votes to censure those involved in non-pooh related material: passed
Votes to commend Alison for the lovely butterfly cakes, despite the unsightly tin in which they are contained: passed
The nearest court is the bowling green: passed
We should write to McVities and tell them about our fingers: failed
Votes to censure Neil: passed
Votes to censure Neil for being late (proposed by Neil): passed
Votes to censure Neil for interrupting the minutes: passed
Neil is master of the universe: passed
Votes to censure Neil for all that is wrong with the universe: passed
Votes to censure Neil for being so foolish as to permit the existence of groups who can censure him: passed
Most undergraduates do not know what they are doing, most of the time: failed
Most post-graduates do not know what they are doing, all the time: failed
We read something from the extant corpus from other people’s minds: passed
Votes to censure Jonathon for attempting to put the minutes into context: passed
Votes to demolish Alison’s house and to hold the Garden Party in the resultant space: failed
Votes to commend Katie for saving Alison’s security deposit: passed
Whoever takes control of the Society Website must back it up onto CD and submit a copy to the archive: passed
Votes to commend Owen for all his contributes to the Society’ website: passed
The committee create a temporary post called ‘The Charlotte’ whose duty it is to maintain the website.
Votes to appoint Matthew to the temporary post of ‘The Charlotte’: passed
The Treasurer delivers a report a on the Society’s finances.
The hustings for President take place.
RON is disqualified for breaking electoral regulations.
Rosy is elected as President: Rosy 1st
Votes to censure Rosy for casting aspersions on the noble traditions of the society: hung – CR decides against
The husting for Secretary take place.
Dunstan is elected as Secretary: Dunstan 1st
We suggest Miss Simpson: passed
Votes to censure Neil for making to attack Michelle: passed
Neil must skip for Naath: passed
The husting for Under-secretary take place.
Jack is elected as Under-Secretary: Jack 1st
Votes to Commend Jack for husting in the style as a Gilbert & Sullivan patter-song: passed
‘Furry Bear’ is read.
If you cut your feet to ribbons, then you have to remain outside and bleed to death.
The hustings for Foreign Secretary take place.
Votes to censure Matthew for ungentlemanly conduct: passed
Votes to commend Rachel C for her lovely hair band: passed
Rachel C is elected as Foreign Secretary: Rachel C 1st
‘A Thought’ is read.
The president is alarmed by Rachel C’s delayed entry noises.
‘His trousers only make me look up because…’
Martin: ‘Yeah, I would like to be Katie, it looks fun.’
The husting for Treasurer take place.
Martin is elected as Treasure but declines the post, passing it onto Katie, who accepts: Martin 1st (declined)
Votes to commend the constitution for making it possible for Martin (Mr Constitution) to have been elected to every committee post.
Votes to censure Martin: passed
‘Journey’s End’ is read.
The hustings for Christopher Robin take place.
Martin is disqualified for refusing to hust and to skip.
Owen is elected as Christopher Robin but declines the post, passing to Alison, who accepts: Owen 1st (Declined) Alison 2nd RON 3rd Martin (disqualified)
The hustings for James take place.
Tom&Naath are elected as James: Naath 1st (draw)
Tom 1st (draw)
Votes to censure Jack for failing to provide honey and condensed milk sandwiches and for lying about the constitution: passed
Jon-h resigns from the post of Home Secretary.
The Grand Final of the Biscuit League is initiated but all three competitors are immediately disqualified for failing to produce the appropriate biscuits. The Grand Final is declared a draw.
There shall be a Biscuit League special round at the next elevenses meeting in which we will discover which finalist would have won the Grand Final, had they all made a showing.
‘In Which Rabbit has a Busy Day and We Discover What Christopher Robin does in the Mornings’ is read.
Votes to mandate Rosy to take Rachel H’s pidgin hole to an insurance company and get it insured: failed
Votes to censure Neil for wearing non-pooh related material: passed
I propose we censure Matthew for exagerw…extra…This sentence isn’t working for me so I’m going to stop: passed
The tables are a heath and safety hazard; they’ve got Alison and Katie already.
Votes to convert the meeting into an elevenses meeting: passed
Once a mathmo, always a mathmo: hung CR decides in favour
Martin is Harry Potter: passed
Votes to censure Martin for excessive sarcasm: passed
Martin is not really Harry Potter – phew.
Dunstan is elected as a fellow of the universe.
Is being a fellow of the universe bigger than being a man of the world?
Neil is drinking Owen’s liquid.
Votes to censure Owen for being nasty: passed
Votes to commend Owen for the soup: passed
Votes also to commend Dunstan and Rachel C for the soup: passed
Dave Henderson is mentioned.
Neil has no imagination so we imagine one for him.
It: hung, but I’ve already written ‘passed’.
One might say that Katie is an obsessive compulsive: hung – CR decides for
People from Pembroke are lovely so of course it makes sense.
Votes to commend Owen and his acolytes for the main course: passed
Neil: ‘she has hairdressers in her top drawers and too much underwear to fit in them.’
Votes to mandate Jack and Jon-h to turn up to the Garden Party in white wedding dresses and bonnets: failed
And my evil plan to capture the minutes succeeds…
We discuss cheating; something which we would never do. Honestly. No, really.
The veto is withdrawn on the ‘lovey-dovey’ motion from the 14th of February on the basis that it only said ‘should’ as opposed to ‘would’.
Various people show their unrequited love. Who they display it for, or indeed, who they are at all is rather a matter for debate but at least its there, somewhere.
Katie explains the ambush related uses of a spring onion up the nose.
Rachel C and Owen run off into the ‘sonnet’ or perhaps ‘sunset’ with the minutes, but in any event, it was actually the kitchen.
Neil tries to pick up Katie.
Votes to censure Neil for threatening Rachel C with a crayon: passed
The strengths and weaknesses of table salt are discussed.
Votes to commend Rachel C for her bread and butter pudding: passed
Votes to commend Owen for the delicious custard: passed
‘For a brief moment I felt complicated’ – Neil
Greek salad would compliment Neil well: ‘έντίμος or maybe άκολασιā άκοιτις’
‘I’m only a small person and big concepts bother me’ – Rachel C
I’ll put Owen absence in here on the grounds that it confused me.
Owen kidnaps the minutes and then can’t remember what Rachel was going to write about Neil and Dunstan.
Owen marks the minutes but is interrogated by Rachel C before he can finish.
Are we allowed to correct spellings?
Dunstan realises that the level ambient noise in the room has dropped and that everyone can now hear his and Rosy’s conversation.
Votes to ‘genre’ or possibly ‘censure’ Rachel C and Owen: passed
Fork – Ow!
More effort needed – see me!
Votes to censure Owen for hijacking the minutes: passed
Votes to censure Owen for hijacking the minutes: passed
Its not a spoon: failed
There is a spoon: failed
The minutes move into the kitchen for the washing up.
Neil sets about successfully disentangling himself from Owen’s room.
Everyone gathers round the monitor as the life signs of Owen’s computer become critical.
Neil’s tenacity avails him naught when it comes to reattatching Owen’s frog. As should always be done in a situation of this kind, a copy of the yellow pages is employed to its best effect.
Owen’s computer makes a number of uncomfortable noises, starts to smell of burning, before shuffling off its mortal coil completely.
Chess courageously attempts to rectify the situation.
Never let a com-sci near your computer.
The frog falls to earth again.
There are pretty colours on Owen’s computer.
Chess: ‘Weird chocolates of doom.’
A three-headed frog – no really.
Neil: ‘There is a lot of text on the screen that I can’t read…I sense a pacet of dolly mixtures coming on.’
‘It works! – Neil has lost his bet with Dunstan.’
Neil treats us to a full rendition of ‘I was on the Monday Morning that the Gas Man Came to Call’.
To have the Loyal Toast at this point is entirely legitimate and would fulfil the requirements of the earlier AGM retrospectively: passed
The Loyal Toast is performed.
[Enter drunken Tolkienites]
Naath in ballet shoes.
Votes to…um…erm…close: passed