PEMBROKE COLLEGE WINNIE-THE-POOH SOCIETY

MINUTES OF THE ELEVENSES MEETING, 15/2/97

Held at 6 Grange Road.
Present: Ben, Jon, Vicky, Stephen, Andrew, Anthony, Sibylle, The High Queen Jon Skeet (HQJS).
Apologies: Rob, Charlie, Alasdair.


  1. The doorbell at 6 Grange Road can only be heard with the sitting-room door open. This prompts debate about whether it in fact exists when the door is closed. If a doorbell rings with no-one there to hear it, does it make a sound? And so on.

  2. Vote to close the Hall of War, which is still officially in session: F., 2, Ag., 4, Abs., 2; motion defeated. The Hall remains open.

  3. Anthony reads the minutes of the last meeting.

  4. Ben mistakes the boiler for a kettle. This explains the quality of his tea.

  5. Anthony attempts to defend his use of the words, "Annual General Meetle". Perhaps it's a Friend and Relation---- or something.

  6. Jon leaves the room for something, and while he is out Ben proposes a motion that Jon be mandated to turn up to the next meeting in a pink fluorescent tutu: F., 0, Ag., 2, Abs., 6; motion defeated. Jon now returns and attempts to overturn the motion before realising it was defeated and shutting up.

  7. Jon (about Vicky): "She takes it while it's still like water." Ben's mind boggles, and Jon takes over the minutes again.

  8. Ben doesn't trust Jon's finance report, and examines the treasury; we have to stop him from plundering it for twenty-pences.

  9. There has been threepence credit since last week, apparently. No-one can explain this.

  10. We discuss the name of Lettuce, our new Honorary Member. Anthony tells a poor joke about naming babies to explain her misfortune.

  11. We discuss HQJS's ex, Scary Clare: he describes their relationship as "a state of mutual terror on my part."

  12. Jon gives a Hall of War report, describing our famous victory, despite heckling from HQJS in the background.

  13. The HQJS reports that he has a cauliflower in his room with a ribbon wrapped round it. We discuss his likes and dislikes a bit, and are unable to find anything he likes except Poohsoc (he says), and Worms. We then try and turn him into a double agent against Sheila (spit), but we realise that he may already be spreading disinformation amongst us and decide it's too dangerous.

  14. Ben reports that Martin and LynetteTheLemming, members in good standing of the most heathen Sheila and her Dog Society (spit, spit), did after the Hall of War retire to his room, there to shred themselves and drink their own blood (theirs, not each others). Jon suggests that there are dark Satanic rituals buried deep within the bowels of Sheila (spit).

  15. Anthony tells us that Postman Pat is banned in the Far East because his three fingers make him look like a gangster. We wonder if the Triads use little red vans to get about in.

  16. Cake!

  17. The reading is: "In Which Rabbit has a Busy Day, and We Find Out What Christopher Robin does in the Mornings".

  18. In the absence of a Roo, HQJS offers himself for the post. Voting in this contentious matter is as follows: F., 3, Ag., 2, Abs., 3; motion carried and HQJS scrapes into office.

  19. Sibylle tells Anthony he would not like to be Rabbit. Her control over him is frightening.

  20. "As soon as he got up he felt important." Ben, in his post as James, wants to know who Important is.

  21. No sound effects please Mr. Queen, we're the Poohsoc!

  22. Vicky has fallen asleep.

  23. HQJS inserts the word "boing!" in exactly the wrong place in the reading.

  24. Anthony giggles in odd places for no apparent reason.

  25. Rabbit goes Cockney,. However, this is nothing compared to Andrew's interpretation of Owl.

  26. Sibylle, in describing Andrew's accent, uses the word "monophthong", which Jon has never heard before, Anthony claims to know lots about thongs.

  27. HQJS departs after standing up too fast the first time and having to administer head-rush treatment.

  28. Anthony does his "WHAT!" twice.

  29. Vicky does the part of Eeyore without cracking up - she must be ill.

  30. Ben apparently suspected all along that Christopher Robin "instigerated".

  31. Christopher Robin learns for an hour a day, which makes him twice as educated as us at least.

  32. Anthony reads us his New Rules for Poohsticks. He has them written out and everything. In this new version of Poohsticks, points are also awarded for shock, method of delivery, size and colour of 'stick' and so on; We are talking professional class Poohsticks from here on! We discuss writing to celebrities to get them to send us celebrity sticks which we could then have a competition with.

  33. Sibylle is reading non-Pooh material in a meeting! We vote to censure her (F., 4, Ag., 2, Abs., 1) but she carries on anyway, causing us to threaten her with a penance of Anthony's devising. This seems to work: "she knows what my penances can be like!" (Anthony). "Does she?" (Jon). "No." (Anthony). All very suspicious.

  34. We vote to censure Rob, for no reason that I bothered to record: F., 6, Ag., 0, Abs., 1. We then vote to mandate him to write to Anne Campbell (who is after all an Honorary Member) to get her to send us a stick: F., 6, Ag., 0, Abs., 1.

  35. We will meet in T4 next week, chez Sibylle.

  36. Sibylle departs, voting in favour of closing everything. Anthony follows a few seconds later.

  37. Vote to close the Hall of War (still open): F., 2, Ag., 3, Abs., 2; Hall of War still open.
    Vote to close this meeting: F., 6, Ag., 0, Abs., 1. Meeting closed. Further minutes are thus minutes of the Hall of War.

  1. Ben has been killed by someone called Cheeseman who "does a mean Y. M. C. A." Vicky has no idea what he's talking about, and Ben does the actions, which is so horrible that it had to be minuted.

  2. The 12 for the price of 8 at 39p crumpet offer is over! Tragedy! This has become a Society tradition, and Jon is therefore mandated to write to Sainsbury's to ask them to restore it and invite them to send representatives to discuss it with us.

  3. Vicky wants to ask Jon something, but decides to wait until afterwards when it'll be less embarrassing.

  4. The Gonville Hotel is discussed: apparently Jon and Vicky spent an evening there once, and "a fine time was had by all" (Jon).

  5. Andrew's milk is alive, apparently. With this reassuring thought we go our separate ways.


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