10 November 2000

The New Millennium Experience Company
110 Buckingham Palace Road
LONDON
SW1W 9SB

Dear Sir/Madam

It has recently come to our attention that you have chosen to include Pooh Bear in the Self-Portrait zone of the Millennium Dome. The Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society would therefore like to commend you on spreading the word of Pooh.

We feel it is a very fitting tribute to the works of A.A. Milne to have such a key figure of British life today featured within your exhibition. In addition, we must commend you for including the necessary facilities for the consumption of tea and cake within the near vicinity of Pooh Bear. The combination of these factors would have made this location the ideal place for one of the Society's Elevenses Meetings (held every Saturday of Full Term).

However, it has also come to our attention that your exhibition will be closing towards the end of the year. The society has concerns that after such an enjoyable year, promoted as a key figure of the Britain today, Pooh Bear might then be left to roam lost amongst the streets of London without even a little smackerel of something on the cold winter nights. As you can probably imagine this could psychologically scar a bear for the rest of his life. We would therefore like to offer our services to care for Pooh Bear after this exhibition finishes.

We have a team of highly trained individuals, including many of Rabbit's friends and relations, on standby ready to adopt and care for Pooh Bear should the need arise. You will probably have heard of our famous "Traumatised Bear Caring" (TBC) unit, a team of undergraduate volunteers providing psychiatric help to the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood. Should you choose to accept our services you can rest assured that Pooh Bear will be kept tucked up warm with a jar of hunny until he is ready to return to the Hundred Acre Wood, all completely free of charge.

Should you feel that a matter as important as this needs to be discussed further, we would welcome you to any of our Elevenses Meetings.

Until then, I would like to thank you for your time on this matter and the kindness that you have shown Pooh Bear over the past year.

Yours faithfully

Owen Barritt
Foreign Secretary

The Reply

Return To The Correspondence