28 November 2000

Stagecoach Cambus
100 Cowley Road
CAMBRIDGE
CB4 0DN

Dear Sir/Madam

It has recently been noticed by several of our members that Stagecoach East London buses seem to be roaming the streets of Cambridge.

I am sure you will agree that Cambridge is a very different environment to East London. It is the general feeling of our society that such a dramatic change would have serious psychological effects on these buses. Therefore, we would like to suggest that they be safely escorted back to East London where they can undergo treatment and be returned to the wild.

Obviously, we would not want any harm to come to these buses, so we would like to suggest that perhaps you should use a mild tranquilliser to stun them while transportation occurs. Alternatively, the positioning of a large net outside Kelsey Kerridge Sports Centre might be sufficient to catch them.

Although we are aware of the council's plans to catch them by digging large holes in the road in front of them, we feel this is not working. However, we are sure they could be trapped on one of the rising bollards.

Should you wish to discuss this matter further I am sure we could suggest further methods that might be more suitable to the exact circumstances. We would therefore welcome you to attend any of our Elevenses Meetings (held every Saturday of Full Term).

Thank you for your time and trouble on this matter.

Yours faithfully

Owen Barritt
Foreign Secretary

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