The Pembroke College, Winnie The Pooh Society

Minutes of the Elevenses Meeting held on Saturday May 28th 1994 in S7

Personages present Richard Topliss (host)
The One-and-Only Dominic White
The James
Alex Eveleigh (Deputy Chapel Clerk Elect)
Austin Straiaichiz
Helen Masters (The Weird One)
The Grandmother of The Weird One
Paul Brown (Hmm.. (and what is that supposed to mean??????))
That Utter Spoddy Square Huw 'I'm Welsh' Lewis

Government Warning: this document is the result of the amalgamation of two different peoples' minutes and, like any democratic compromise, is liable to self-destruct due to the conflict of interests... The deputy chapel shark elect started taking the minutes but was fortunately retieved by the undersecretary when he arrived late, after his last examination ever!


  1. The James investigated Richard's (large) water pistol.

  2. OT reading ... (when The James decided what to read) ... : "Forgiven" from "When we are Six"

  3. Helen commented that Anne's IA exams must be more important than The One-and-Only Dominic's Finals (touch of sarcasm there ??)
    [Sorry, these are not my jokes! I therefore take NO responsibility for their lack of humour! NatScis work harder than everybody else!]

  4. Richard asked whether Rabbit ever had a beard.
    [Is nobody sane?]

  5. Introductions were made by character name to "The Grandmother of The Weird One". [Poor Lady!]

  6. The NT reading "In which Piglet is entirely surrounded by water (Chpt. 9 from "Winnie the Pooh") was read with The James' unique style but, alas, was interrupted by a number of occurrences :

    1. Austin (Straiaichiz) coughed...

    2. Richard scratched his chin...

    3. Someone (Who? Slack minute-taking!) asked why last week's minutes had not been read out (explained away by the sad absence of little Anne, the overworked NatSci..Aah)

    4. Huw entered (loudly). [What do you mean? I was exhilarated]
    James coped with a phenomenally long sentence exceptionally well [These minutes will make his head expand!]

  7. The One-and-Only Dominic "Um'd" and read his wonderfully pretentious draft garden party invitations to the Queen and the Archbishop of Durham. They were later accepted(7-1-1 and 5-0-4, respectively).

  8. The Grandmother of The Weird One (a.k.a. Rosemary Nancy Masters) was elected an honorary member of the Society (7-0-1) and was generously not forced out of the room for the duration of the vote. [Looks wonderful on a CV, Mrs Masters!]

  9. Helen, who had commendably been practising numerical counting, noticed that we had a quorum present. Hmm...

  10. For some reason, a vote of confidence in the Queen was deemed necessary. The One-and-Only Dominic argued that she exhibited tact and sensitivity, although he admitted that other members of the Royal Family were not so admirable. Richard tried to argue her £6 billion wealth could be redistributed to those below the poverty line. The James mentioned that Pooh could not have been knighted in the last chapter of "The House at Pooh Corner" without a Monarch, but went on rather about Sir Brian so had to be rudely interrupted before we had a whole third, apocryphal, lesson! The vote testing our faith in E.R. came out as: 5-1-3.

  11. Lawyers were denigrated with zeal (Ha Ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

  12. The Garden Party play ("Pooh's Party) was discussed. The Weird one decided that we would need a trestle table and table cloth. (Aren't these minutes getting mundane?) I also wrote down "Sang in it ", "Pint Pots" and "Panama" in my rough minutes but appear to have forgotten the context in which they were mentioned

  13. Mark Williams' accent was denigrated (Stick to lawyers!)

  14. The James left early (No comment!)

  15. The Undersecretary racked his brains in an attempt to make these minutes but failed dismally.


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