Minutes of the Elevenses meeting of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society

held in N1a, Saturday 2nd May 1998

Present: Andrew, Anthony, Ben, Chris, Claire, Henry, Kirsten, Michael, Oliver, Richard, Rob, Tino, Vicky, Yasmin, Heathcliff-the-pot-plant (“a right apathetic b****y plant”).

Apologies: Vicky’s blanket (revision crisis), Alison (I shudder to think where she is), Sibylle (still in Germany), Jenny (On Ilkla Moor Baht ‘at).

1. The meeting is opened in the corridor by Andrew, and Michael is censured for not actually being here to let us into his room. The Secretary attempts to “card” the door lock, using all his skills and talents, and thus fails. A reconnaissance mission to Roland’s room accertains that an attempt to climb out of N1b and thus in through N1a’s window would be a Bad Thing. On the arrival of the President, the Secretary acquires a penknife and a plastic milk bottle (empty), and tries to force the lock with a slice of bottle. At this point Michael arrives, to everyone’s relief.
   


2. Once in the room Oliver starts minuting, as Andrew is disposing of the evidence of his attempt at breaking and entering. We note that there is no-one called Owen present (continuing a long but previously unnoticed tradition...?).
   


3. Tino, president of the Nottingham Chapter, is here! He enters on a red carpet, brought from Selwyn Gardens just for the occassion.
   


4. A vote that everyone who can’t currently vote present at the meeting be allowed to vote for the duration of the meeting. Passed.
   


5. “Granny is a lazy b*****d” declares Oliver passing our esteemed (by the Secretary at least) Secretary the minuting paper.
   


6. Someone asks “where’s the bin?”. Andrew makes the “Ah’ve not bin anywhere” comment, and is patted on the head by Claire, acting on Kirsten’s behalf.
   


7. Michael is censured for not having any milk, however some is acquired.
   


8. Oliver reads last week’s minutes. They are declared to be among the most surreal we have had.
   


9. We ask Ben if he managed to book a lawn for the garden party. “S**T!” is the reply, suggesting a bout of amnesia has occurred since we mandated him to do this. He is censured.
   


10. “Milk anyone?” Unanimous. At almost a quarter-to-five, time for a little something, Richard’s teapot is empty, a previously almost unknown occurrence.
    


11. Kirsten keeps her toothbrush with her at all times - she never knows when she might need it.
    


12. We censure Ben for making claims that the Treasurer said things at the last meeting which she did not say. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten what.
    


13. “AARG f**k AAGH” says Ben, as he spills tea over himself, wetting himself in the process.
    


14. For future reference, Richard’s name is spelt with a “U”.
    


15. We plan to kidnap Kirsten from S&HDSoc (ss), but as she isn’t a member this wouldn’t really work. we censure Ben for falsely accusing someone of being from the enemy.
    


16. A vote to congratulate Henry for his cookies is taken. Those who actually had some vote in favour, and the motion is passed. The Madera cake is nice as well.
    


17. Ben says “will you all stop getting at me?”
    F 1 A everyone else Ab 0
    


18. Ben leaves the room briefly, and we vote to automatically censure Ben every two minutes, timed by the radio-alarm clock.
    


19. Ben is censured.
    


20. The reading “In which Tigger is unbounced”. Ben is censured a number of times during the reading.
    


21. Ben is censured.
    


22. Vicky declares “I’m not entirely with it this morning...”. As it is now past 5pm, we agree. And Ben is censured.
    


23. Ben will bring the T-shirt designs next week for us to chose one to be produced. Despite this, Ben is censured. We have a long discussion about printing techniques, and come to the conclusion we don’t really know what we are talking about. Hardly new ground for us, then. Ben is censured.
    


24. Next week’s meeting will be on new ground, in room 7, 62 Jesus Lane (Vicky’s room). Ben is censured.
    


25. A report from the Nottingham chapter is heard. They had one other paid-up member, but she was taken off their mailing list recently. However, she does have Pooh on her underwear, apparently.
    


26. Ben is censured. In total, Ben was censured 30 times under the two minute rule, so not all have been minuted.
    


27. The meeting is closed at 6pm, so as to have a nice round number of censures of Ben, and we head off in our various directions.
    

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