Held in U9 at 4:00 p.m.
Present: Ben, Jon, Vicky, Stephen, Andrew, Rob, Sibylle, Anthony.
Apologies: Sibylle (who turned up anyway)
Infidels: High Queen Jon Skeet, Martin Read, and Lynette the Lemming.

1. Jon arrived early! Ben nearly faints from the shock.
   


2. There is a random Assassins conversation between the infidel Read and various people; as usual, no-one is playing Killer this term.
   


3. Rob arrives, in uniform, as mandated, and bearing the sticker-book.
   


4. The High Queen Jon Skeet arrives, bearing crumpets. They are indeed twelve for the price of eight at 39p; this is arapidly becoming a tradition.
   


5. Ben questions the future of the Sheila and her Dog Society (spit, spit), due to their outmoded feudal system and their hopelessly strained constitution, to say nothing of the fact that we're at war with them.
   


6. Rob is keeping Sandra Bullock warm, apparently. Certainly, says Jon, she must be catching her death dressed like that, poor child.
   


7. Ben has brought cocoa, in what we feel is a rather misplaced consideration for the envoys, considering this was one of the casus belli.
   


8. The HQJS refuses our hospitality, having had some Ribena before he came here. Almost as if he expected to be poisoned...
   


9. Vicky arrives without the Testaments or the Treasury, and apologises for everything before we can censure her. She states that she is more confused than usual, although we find it difficult to believe.
   


10. According to Lynette the Lemming, Martin, whom we can all see quite clearly before us, does not exist. This is clearly typical of the dementure of Sheila's (spit) ruling class, and indicates a fast-decaying hierarchy ripe for revolution.
    


11. Piling error on error, Vicky has not brought a mug!
    


12. `Doorstep' is said a lot.
    


13. We complain volubly about Ben's use of evaporated milk in last term's sandwiches. This Will Not Do!
    


14. Vicky criticises Rob's sewing. We debate about whether he is actually in uniform. Ben accuses him of coming from the 1st Chigwell Troop. This allows us to discover that Ben is technically still a Scout, and he nearly gets asked to bring his uniform, except for the rather horrifying possibility that it wouldn't fit any more.
    


15. Rob is strangely defensive today.
    


16. We confront Anthony with his minuted cosiness with Sibylle last meeting: he goes very red. We decide to observe the goings-on this meeting.
    


17. Ben has cleaned his cups for Sibylle, who now arrives.
    


18. Vote to censure Jon for misspelling Sibylle throughout last meeting's minutes: F., 5, Ag., 2, Abs., 1; motion carried.
    


19. Vote to censure Vicky for her forgetfulness, despite apologies: F., 2, Ag., 4, Abs. 1; motion defeated. The Society obviously likes Vicky better than Jon.
    


20. Anthony pays up and is registered as a member.
    


21. There are apparently no votes in Sheila (spit), due to their feudal system. We may yet succeed in bringing the spirit of egalitarianism to bear on the hated nobility, however.
    


22. Vicky proposes the HQJS for membership, as required by Clause IV of the Constitution (although he has bribed her by paying his Levy in advance): F., 3, Ag., 1, Abs., 4. Motion carried, and the HQJS is accepted for membership. Quite what position this leaves him in is unclear: he is now at war with himself. We shall have to watch him in case he spontaneously combusts.
    


23. The Committee vote, very quietly, to observe Anthony and Sibylle in case of further cosiness.
    


24. Anthony goes red again while trying to explain what `a bit of crumpet' can also mean to Sibylle. Does this count as cosiness? We are unsure.
    


25. It is officially recorded that hockey is no excuse.
    


26. Ben reads, "In which Kanga and Baby Roo come to the Forest and Piglet has a Bath", with everyone assuming their proper parts for once, which needs many many copies. Anthony and Sibylle share one.
    


27. Apparently Vicky is 66. Sibylle claims to be older.
    


28. Ben is toasting crumpets in his sandwich toaster. Lynette wants to know if hers is done yet, and Ben replies, "It depends on how floppy you want it." Sometimes context is all.
    


29. Sibylle, as official Kanga to the Society, is one of the Fiercer Animals.
    


30. "Piglet's a real bastard, isn't he?" says Ben.
    


31. "Kanga never takes her eyes off Baby Roo." Perhaps Anthony would like to take up the post of Roo?
    


32. Anthony tries to read his mistakes backwards, in the manner of the infidels, so the Secretary strikes him with the minutes. We are in danger of being seduced by the luxuries of the evil ones whom we have admitted to the sanctum! Rob even tries to do the actions! Oh calamity!
    


33. Kanga scrubs Piglet with a flannel!
    


34. We side-track briefly on to: the Rev. W. Awdry; the Fat Controller; political correctness and whether it's right to ignore obesity; the Thin Controller, and then, mercifully, back to Winnie-the-Pooh.
    


35. Rob proposes that the Sticker Book be made a Society Artefact, and passed around each week to have its stickers rearranged according to the whim of whoever's turn it is. F., 7, Ag., 0, Abs., 1; motion carried.
    


36. We discuss the Hall of War. The rules of engagement are refined; coppers will also be allowed as cues to down your wine. The use of the word 'Huzzah' is debated, but discarded as silly. Possible dates are Sunday 9th, Saturday 15th or Sunday 16th, and we allow Sheila (spit) to choose, on the grounds that we'll take 'em on any time. Pansies. Other forums for competition will be Worms (a team of two to be selected by each side; the Secretary and the President rapidly nominate themselves) and Poohsticks, off Trinity Bridge. We'll wipe the floor with them, you won't be able to find the pieces when we finish.
    


37. Vicky thinks she hears the phrase "see-through Eeyore", but it turns out not to be so. Which, considering who the Eeyore is, is just as well. For her, obviously. I mean... oh get on with the other minutes would you?
    


38. Details of the Australian Chapter must be given to the Foreign Secretary. Jon will see to it.
    


39. The HQJS offers to host a meeting in the future. We decide that this would be out of keeping with our Collegiate image, and in any case Sheila (spit) are hedonists and Sybarites (says Jon - who else?).
    


40. Andrew has brought some painted nails instead of painting his nails. We are still not happy, especially what with the lack of a tutu for the umpteenth week running.
    


41. The HQJS blatantly plugs the society of the infidels.
    


42. Vote to close: F., 5, Ag., 1, Abs., 2; meeting closed. Next week's meeting will be in the far-off fastness that is 6 Grange Road.
    

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