THE PEMBROKE COLLEGE WINNIE-THE-POOH SOCIETY

MINUTES OF THE ELEVENSES MEETING, 28/02/98

Held in S15 at 4:00 p. m.

Present: Ben, Alison, Jenny, Jon (Up for the weekend), Kirsten, Michael, Yasmin, Anthony, Alasdair.

Apologies: Claire Milford (working - she said), Tony (watching the rowing), Andrew (driving trains), Sibylle (doing who knows what in Würzburg), Stephen (didn't say). Also, Rob apologised for being late by contributing Battenberg, and Kirsten apologised anyway in case she had forgotten to some other time.

Guests: Magnus, Chris Emerson, Tarita (a friend of Andrew's), Oliver.

1. The Meeting is opened by Ben when he encounters Jon and Kirsten in Trumpington Street.
   


2. Jon encounters Claire Milford going towards King's Parade and extracts an apology from her there and then.
   


3. The Meeting attempts to get Tarita from Botolph Lane but fails since she has already left.
   


4. Smarting from this defeat, we propose that everyone else be censured for not being present for the opening of the meeting: F., 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 0; carried.
   


5. On our way to S15 it is revealed that Ben has forgotten both the tea and the Testaments, so we immediately propose a vote of censure: F., 2, Ag., 1, Abs., 0; carried.
   


6. On arrival in S15 it is discovered that we have enough cake to feed a small African nation, and that someone else has brought tea. Jon performs the word 'cake' in the style of Tor, for nostalgia's sake.
   


7. Kirsten apologises for tradition's sake.
   


8. Alison arrives.
   


9. The kettle in Ben's bag is pronounced surreal by Michael.
   


10. Magnus inquires if Dave Henderson has been mentioned.
    


11. Dave Henderson is mentioned.
    


12. Ben, who has been scouring the corridors for milk and things of that sort, returns long enough to be censured for inefficiency and for claiming it's not his fault: F., 7, Ag., 0, Abs., 0; carried.
    


13. Chris Emerson and Yasmin arrive: Chris looks disturbed to see Jon taking minutes.
    


14. Ben finds that he has forgotten the minutes and censures himself. He goes to print off more.
    


15. Chris has Alison's carrier bag between his teeth and cannot be made to let go.
    


16. Ben returns and proposes that we censure Granny for hiding the minutes in a strange file: F., 2, Ag., 4, Abs., 2; defeated, much to Ben's relief.
    


17. Michael remembers saying, in the last minutes, "I leant over the bath to do it." We consider this the edited highlights, and move on.
    


18. The minutes of last week's meeting are read by Ben.
    


19. Ben claims that we can't censure him five times in one meeting. We immediately censure him for such arrogance: F., 5, Ag., 2, Abs., 1; carried.
    


20. Tea is finally achieved!
    


21. Alasdair and Anthony arrive in short order - this may be a record attendance!
    


22. Ben reports on Pooh Awareness Week. The P. B. A. M. phase of the campaign was successful, in that several people did, as planned, ask what it meant, and some Japanese tourists and a random bloke called Tim were converted. Further, Anthony reports that at least one Christian has been annoyed to the point of medication by our antics. However, beyond that there haven't really been any results.
    


23. Ben produces some statistics about the website. Apparently most people visit it between 6 and 7 on a Wednesday. Among our international visitors, Swedes come top with 47, and there have been 4 each from the US military and the US government. Jon comes up with two responses, either, "The Feds are onto us!", or "Hi Hilary!"…
    


24. Claire Milford apparently told Jon that she was reading Pooh last night in bed with her boyfriend. This revelation raises several cries of, "Boyfriend? What boyfriend?"
    


25. A mention of Alex M leads on to a report for Jon's benefit on the eventual response to the Celebrity Poohstick request sent to Paddy Ashdown, which was apparently written in very bad English and failed to understand what we were asking. Jon reflects that he has said to a lot of people that it's time we got shot of Paddy, but refrains from saying so because he'd get censured for politics.
    


26. Anthony Ben and Magnus in College Incest Quadrangle! Shock Horror, Consternation and Uproar! Ben has described the woman in question as being "quite irresistible to men." Well!
    


27. Oliver arrives and says, "Rock and roll!"
    


28. Vote to allow the guests to vote for the duration of the meeting: F., 6, Ag., 1, Abs., 1; carried.
    


29. Oliver is covered in flaps. "Such a nice boy too," says Ben.
    


30. Ben is unprecedented! In that he has had three terms of office, that is. What did you think I meant?
    


31. Jon has done the penance enforced upon him at his trial at long last (as Kirsten witnesses). However he has failed to bring up the postcard from Australia, and so is soundly censured anyway: F., 8, Ag., 2, Abs., 1; carried.
    


32. Jon therefore pays the last ten pence of his membership so as to restore his reputation.
    


33. Ben says that the small Battenberg would be more hedgehog-like than the large one with which Rob has so generously provided us. He even makes the mistake of trying to justify it before the whole idea implodes through its own silliness.
    


34. Apparently Yasmin is Spiny Norman. Jon remains unconvinced after hearing her say "Dinsdale!" Oops, hang on - that's the wrong society!
    


35. Ben is censured for throwing food, F: 7, Ag: 4, Abs: 0; carried. That makes four…
    


36. Ben opens a Committee Meeting. He proposes they overthrow the last vote: F., 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 0; carried. The Committee Meeting is closed. Aren't constitutions great? So that makes three, sorry.
    


37. We immediately censure Ben for offering to be Chapter Headings, which as we all know is a custom of the Enemy (spit): F., 11, Ag., 0, Abs., 0; carried.
    


38. Jon is mandated to carry a message to the High Queen Jon Skeet, still titular leader of our adversaries, to the effect that we will take them on at Poohsticks any Saturday afternoon they're ready.
    


39. The Reading, at very long last, is "In Which Christopher Robin leads an Expotition to the North Pole". Jon has to sing twice and on both occasions is showered with applause and flowers. Thankfully Ben keeps his underwear on, however.
    


40. Rob arrives, and shortly afterwards is heard coughing his suspect cough.
    


41. The phrase "rubbed it up," is ajudged gratuitous by the membership - one of those bits where we are sure that it's not just us who would see a double meaning…
    


42. Apparently Poohsoc got Kirsten her job at M & S! This makes them much more sympathetic than Sainsbury's, then.
    


43. Alison is hot. It Must Be The Tea.
    


44. Rob asks if Oliver was perchance attacked by a savage dog?
    


45. "Vicky has stopped coming since Jon left." (Anthony)
    


46. "Isn't foetus a lovely word?" (Jon)
    


47. Anthony does the 'mass debate' joke.
    


48. A vote is proposed that Kirsten's child will be made a member as soon as it is born, at the first meeting of Michaelmas Term 1998: F., 5, Ag., 0, Abs., 6; carried.
    


49. We vote to censure Ben for lack of anything better to do: F., 6, Ag., 5, Abs., 1; carried.
    


50. Jon does a little note of thankyou which we poke through the handle of the milk bottle we have, ahem, borrowed, before it is put back.
    


51. Alasdair leaves.
    


52. Ben proposes that we censure Northerners. This is not a popular motion: F., 4, Ag., 5, Abs., 3; defeated.
    


53. Ben is excited by the angle-poise lamp. "It doesn't take much to excite me!" says the President.
    


54. T-shirts are discussed. Jon recommends we get permission to use the College crest from Colin, and we mandate Rob to talk to him.
    


55. Chris is spotted trying to balance an empty mini-roll box (NB not as good as loo rolls apparently; one for you and me there Chris, eh? Ed.)
    


56. Finally, since the Informal Trough is about to start, we vote to close: F., 9, Ag., 2., Abs., 0; meeting closed, which means that neither Vicky's arrival nor Jon saying to her, "Let's go to your room," sotto voce can be recorded. Shame really.
    

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