Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Elevenses Meeting

In which we receive an appropriately incomprehensible postcard.

Held on Satruday 22nd November 2008 in Burrell's Field.

Present: Ignatius, CGM, Jon, James, Ed, Ermintrude, Roseanna, Matt, Steve, Alicia, Elena, Ed Anderson, Carol, Rachel, Will, Jack.

  1. Can we retroactively second it? 5-1-3-1 (dragons).
  2. We should vote on the motion that was seconded. 6-1-0-0.
  3. A postcard in Morse Code is being deciphered.
  4. Carol and Steve ingressi sunt.
  5. Visitors can vote. 7-0-0-0.
  6. Motion to censure those who had the meeting on the train yesterday for not having a reading. 7-1-1-0.
  7. Vote to commend Matt on his effort to translate. Lots-0-0-0.
  8. We must create paradoxes at every opportunity. Lots-3-0-0.
  9. Steve cannot be called Ed.
  10. A child called “Sarah McCain [something]”.
  11. The cake is like the sword in the stone but won’t enable Carol to do Quantum Mechanics.
  12. Democracy… in Poohsoc?
  13. Shall we just call him “Maude”? 3-6-0-0.
  14. “Maude” vs. “Steve” – Maude – 2, Steve – 4, Abstentions – 1, Spoils – 1 (Aethelred).
  15. <The minutes of the EGM> are read, by various people.
  16. Some of the naked women on the internet are Ermintrude.
  17. Jon tries to look it up.
  18. Jack ingressus est.
  19. James has never seen Jack and Superman in the room at the same time.
  20. Will ingressus est.
  21. Jon does not know what “Clintonise” means.
  22. Jon has National Grid graphs on his computer.
  23. Jon wants “Vivid” for the page-three girl.
  24. We must contact Sheila [spit] about the bake-off.
  25. Wednesday night is “Heroes” night.
  26. Ignatius is being Steve to volunteer his kitchen – everybody votes against.
  27. “I don’t know, I’m not a girl”.
  28. Will looked good last night. 6-0-6-1 (Will’s mum looked good last night.)
  29. We see pictures of Will.
  30. Jon has lost his drawers.
  31. Discussion of Jon’s ex-girlfriend’s favourite bowl.
  32. You’re allowed to not be respectful to your mother if she’s giving the lecture.
  33. CGM reads “Lines and Squares”.
  34. There’s a lot of British Museum. Lots-0-2-0.
  35. We watch an educational video about stepping on cracks.
  36. We would like to congratulate Will for being the only one brave enough to put on a fur suit. 6-4-3-1 (stuffed dormice).
  37. You don’t want to see my school photos. 6-1-3-0.
  38. Entertaining holiday things.
  39. CGM is not an eejit. 7-3-1-2 (Libya; the transformer equivalent of a furry).
  40. Close the window.
  41. Fail. 2-4-1-1 (Fail bakery).
  42. Something was seconded. 10-1-1-2 (Penguin genitals; Ed has to look it up).
  43. Censure Will for opening the window. 9-0-1-0.
  44. Penguin genitals. 0-4-3-1 (Beluga mammaries).
  45. Beluga mammaries. 2-1-1-2 (You can’t second spoils; otters’ nipples).
  46. Spoils cannot be seconded. 4-0-1-1 (Walrus semen).
  47. Reading- “A Search for Small”.
  48. Gorse bushes are pretty dangerous.
  49. Will is molested from two sides.
  50. I think that’s the eye-liner. 7-2-2-0.
  51. James is temporarily possessed by Sean Connery.
  52. Censure Jon for being crude. 9-0-2-0.
  53. If Will leaves we can trust everyone here.
  54. Will has several brains and they’re all female. 11-2-1-1 (he uses them but they’re not his).
  55. Molesting the secretary is unconstitutional.
  56. Close the meeting. 7-3-1-2 (the closure of this meeting may not be well-defined; naked pictures of Michael Wallace).

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