Held in D12, where Stephen's manifest cleverness has got him.
Present: Tim, Jon, Stephen, Vicky, Ben M. Parker, Andrew Grantham.
Apologies: Tapani and Angela both have choir. No apologies from Tor, despite her position as Christopher Robin. Is this conduct bringing the society into disrepute? But then, hasn't Tor's conduct always brought the society into disrepute? Anyway, the minutes...

1. Stephen has artfully provided not only biscuits and Jaffa cakes, but also hunny sandwiches. Appreciative, if somewhat muffled noises of gratitude, are made by all parties, bar the ever-modest Stephen himself.
   


2. Vicky, clearly terribly excited, produces a letter from her parents and proceeds to tell us all about it, as well as describing a moth she found in the toilet this morning. Jon's discouraging noises are made to no avail.
   


3. For a brief moment we turn to matters of finance, as Tim hands Vicky (now the treasurer, since Craig never claimed the treasury from ex-treasurer Sarah.) a big bag of money! It is recorded that we owe Stephen "about eight pounds" for his ever-timely photocopying (although the Secretary didn't get pigeonholed this week, not that he'd be churlish enough to mention that in public record). Jon states that he is owed £2.25 for vital Squash supplies, and also thanks everyone who stopped him making a total horse's bottom of the arrangements.
   


4. It is noted that Vicky is already a better Treasurer than Craig having come to one meeting since being appointed, and furthermore, claims she, having no crush on Tor.
   


5. Ben M. Parker is given the minutes of the last meeting(s) of last year, and proceeds to read them. After a minute, he realises we meant him to read out loud, which he does with some amazement.
   


6. The concept of elevenses at four o' clock is defended against the insidious assault of common sense: "Best time for it," claims Jon.
   


7. Tim has no idea who Vicky means by 'Helen the Hat': we rectify this deplorable lapse. Tim: "Oh."
   


8. It is discovered that, because of the absence of both the James and the Foreign Secretary, to say nothing of the Christopher Robin (well, noone did say anything of her), we have a total lack of Pooh. Ben suggests searching the 'net, and Jon confesses he's found a Winnie-the-Pooh website. However, screams of "Agh! Computer-speak!" in unison from Tim and Vicky close thsi discussion, and it is decided to continue as if nothing were the matter.
   


9. Tim wants the Easter and the Summer vacations run together as they did with the teabreaks at his summer job. Slight confusion here, because we all thought he ws talking about running teabreaks together here, and as Vicky rightly says, we all do that anyway.
   


10. Jon proposes a vote of thanks to Stephen for the 'lavish spread' he has provided. Votes for, 5, votes against, 0, abstentions, Stephen. Motion carried, with a small round of applause.
    N.B. We have no James to abstain! This will never do!
    


11. Sarah arrives breathlessly, ("With no clothes on!" (Tim)) having foolishly attempted Sport before climbing D stairs. She collapses on the floor and wastes valuable breath telling us she's been playing football.
    


12. Jon announces that he encountered representatives of our Enemies, the Sheila And Her Dog Society (spit), at the Freshers' Fair, and that after having informed them that we were at war with them, they argued persuasively that no two bands of people who see Winnie the Pooh in the right way (i.e. with the innuendoes in), should be divided so. Jon said he'd suggest a Formal Hall for diplomatic negotiations to the Society, and now does so. Since Tit Hall's food has to be better than ours, this is greeted with cautious approval by the Society.
    


13. Reports are heard on Sarah's combination birthday do, at which three people celebrated a combined age of 63.
    


14. Sarah was apparently taken for "her fifteen-year-old brother's younger sister" over the holidays. Sarah's age is obviously decreasing.
    


15. Tim discloses that his mother apparently has trouble getting into X-rated films because of her height. Whether this is a regular thing or not is not revealed.
    


16. For lack of anything else to do,it is proposed that we strike out on an Expotition to find Helen!
    


17. Just before we go, though, Sarah carelessly mentions the photoes of the party, at which she was apparently flirting outrageously with a very boring friend of Angela, while under the affluence of incohol. Jon alleges that she tied a balloon round his (the friend's obviously, not Jon's: that would be silly) leg on two separate occasions.
    


18. The Society collectively decides that thsi man is Sarah's boyfriend.
    


19. No he isn't, and she never did the balloon. (Sarah)
    


20. Yes she did. (Jon)
    


21. No she didn't, it was Tor. (Sarah)
    


22. Only the first time (Jon)
    


23. Someone remembers what we were doing, and a vote is taken to expote, or whatever the word is, to Cozen's Court, domain of Helen's boyfriend.
    Votes for, 5, Against, 0, Abstentions 1 (Ben). Motion carried
    


24. Ben is immediately proposed as Temporary James by Jon.
    Votes for, 4, Against, 0, Abstentions 2; Ben is now James for the duration of the meeting. Jon tells him what his duties are.
    


25. Just as we are all standing up to go to Peterhouse, Helen her very own self arrives, and with an extra large Pauli in tow, down from Points North to get books! General rejoicing! Jon attempts to declare the last motion but one redundant by Dictat, but Helen stops him, and we forget about it instead, which is much more democratic.
    


26. Pauli tells us about his new home, to the accompaniment of chants of "Dur'am! Dur' am!"
    


27. Helen can't stay long becasue there's an apple and cinnamon doughnut waiting for her at home. This is much more important than Andrew, her boyfriend, because it may not be there when she returns.
    


28. Ways to get your M.Phil application approved are discussed: Vicky suggests pink ink, but Pauli fears this won't help with the old 'stick a pin in the board' method by which such selections are made.
    


29. We discuss Helen's employment prospects; it doesn't take long.
    


30. Pauli tells his 'Owl with a stammer' joke. "It gets funnier every time I tell it!" he says. Andrews says he's glad he wasn't around for the first time.
    


31. Stephen is congratulated by everyone for his First, as is Vicky for hers. Jon isn't, which serves him right becasue he brought the topic up, after all. Cries of "Swot!" and "Bloody miracle!" are heard coming from suspiciously near Pauli.
    


32. Helen tells us about her summer: apparently she passed glandular fever from her mother to her boyfriend without actually having it. Either that, or her mother has some explaining to do...
    


33. Somehow we get onto playgroups. Vicky had a pink elephant at hers; Sarah got hit by a tricycle coming down a slide (either her, or the tricycle. I'm not sure. Possibly both?), and Helen fell in love with a girl and had to have things Explained to her. Apparently however, noone but one person whose name I forgot to record did "strange things with potatoes," so that's all right.
    


34. Helen got herself addicted to swimming while in Romania. Of course, you don't know what's in the water over there...
    


35. The prospect of Pauli taking exercise is debated briefly. But seriously folks, Pauli, "lean, mean and dangerous"? Nah.
    


36. Helen tells us how many of the fourth oldest cathedrals in Europe she's been to
    


37. Apparently 'Sprocket', the film magazine, is written in Helen's boyfriend's room, and she Herself has written several of the reviews for films nobody has seen.
    


38. Sarah departs, talking of cell cleavage, and manages to tread on Pauli's foot while saying goodbye to him. This is apparently regular: on arrival yesterday he got a mouthful of shoulder. Why this is is unclear, at least to Pauli.
    


39. "Don't jump!" says Vicky to Tim. Everyone looks rather confused, and Vicky crawls off to die of embarrassment, metaphorically at least.
    


40. Stories are told of 6 Grange Road. Bad stories, woo.
    


41. There's a catfight outside! But it stops when everyone rushes to the window to see.
    


42. Should Helen become a farmer, this being the only job available where she lives? 'Can't do stock, can't drive a tractor, can muck out a little.' Perhaps not.
    


43. Pauli and Helen get onto the subject of cows' lamentable house-training. The exact nature, consistency and temparature of the cowshit you have to shovel out of their feed-troughs of a morning is eagerly debated, and Pauli insists it's minuted.
    


44. Time enough. Votes to close: F/3, A/0, Abs./3, meeting closed.
    


45. Pauli thinks that he'll get away with saying Angela's stupid just because the meeting's closed, but oh no!
    


46. People depart. Tapani arrives at the last minute, and somewhat bemusedly goes again.
    

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