Held in U9.
Present: Sibylle, Ben, Rob, Anthony (first-year lawyer -poor kid).
Apologies: none! Outrageous!

1. Everyone swaps stories about drunken revels at the Dean's Christmas Party. (Damn - did I miss something? Jon).
   


2. Enid Blyton is discussed: the Famous Five were the best, no messing.
   


3. Vote to allow Anthony to vote for the duration of the meeting: F, 2, Ag., 0, Abs., 1; motion carried.
   


4. Vote to censure Jon and Vicky for being absent: F, 3, Ag. 0, Abs. 1; motion carried.
   


5. Ben's cups are found insanitary: Sibylle washes hers herself to make sure.
   


6. Apparently a spider fell on Anthony's face while he was asleep. there are some times it's better not to have Vicky present.
   


7. Rob wonders if Winnie-the-Pooh like Spiders. He certainly didn't mind beetles, but can we generalise from this in so weighty a matter? Ooh, it's tricky.
   


8. Ben is told off for stealing something, but his notes have cunningly obscured what it actually was. A full-scale investigation will have to be launched to prevent the evil thing-stealer making away with yet more ill-gotten gains!
   


9. Vote to censure on and Vicky again: F, 2, Ag, 0, Abs., 2; motion carried.
   


10. Ben says Sibylle must come round to clean the cups more often: he's never had them so clean.
    


11. A whole conversation is had using only the words, "What", "Pardon", "Sorry" and so on. You know, I'm really sorry I was late for this one...
    


12. Ben nearly chokes himself to death on a chocolate chip cookie: you see! Evil brings on its own downfall! It's a judgement! It's a judgement!
    


13. Vote to bring Rob's friends along: F, 2, Ag., 0, Abs., 2; motion carried. Rob goes and fetches them: they are named Peregrine and Andrew.
    


14. Ben, the all-purpose James, has made Hunny-and-Condensed Milk sandwiches.
    


15. Vicky arrives, apologising profusely, carrying shopping. Apparently Jon got out of bed at 3:54 today, and so may be even later...
    


16. Vicky is a heretic: she doesn't like Hunny!
    


17. Rob returns with Andrew and Peregrine, whose name provokes stifled giggles. We vote to allow them to vote for the duration of the meeting: F, 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 2; motion carried.
    


18. Ben proposes a motion that he has performed his Hunny'n'Condensed milk sandwich duty as detailed in the constitution. F, 0, Ag., 6, Abs., 1; motion defeated. The PoohSoc's power to deny the facts is lamented by the James. He stops minuteing in disgust and Vicky takes over.
    


19. Sibylle proposes a vote to turn off the fire, but Ben refuses to take it: another dictator in the making! He claims, "This is not a full democracy you know!" The Lady Foundress would be turning in her grave if it wasn't for the fact that she's alive and well, long may she reign.
    


20. The hygiene of Ben's cups is discussed in detail and with fervour (Vicky's notes say 'with aplomb' but I don't believe her).
    


21. Anthony announces that he has stomach cramps the size of Dorset. Vicky thinks he says 'doorstep' but as ever it turns out not to be so.
    


22. The company discourses distractingly on words beginning with 'dis-': a disgraceful display of dissipated dissonance!
    


23. It is decided that the only word which can be used to describe Jon's lateness and general sloth is "Pwepostewous!" spoken an octave higher than usual. On cue, Jon arrives, complaining that he couldn't find a kosher car-park, and narrowly escapes being censured again.
    


24. Ben's novelty teapot strikes again!
    


25. Jon takes over the minutes as befits his sadly neglected office. We decide that since he's finally here, we can go General. Vote to close this meeting: F, 5, Ag., 1, Abs., 1; meeting closed.
    


26. The General Meeting is declared open, with Jon, Vicky, Ben, Rob, Sibylle, Anthony, Peregrine and Andrew present. Apologies have been received from Andrew, Sarah, Tapani and Charlie.
    


27. Andrea interrupts with an invitation to Tatties! It is decided that this meeting will have to be done fast.
    


28. Anthony invites Andrea to 'have a square one!'
    


29. Ben takes over the minutes again as Jon reads last week's: he forgets to spit after the mention of the Sheila and her Dog Society (spit, spit), and Ben cries heresy.
    


30. Sibylle tries to censure Ben , but finds herself unable to say "Wie komme ich...," in French and thus has to retire in confusion. Ben is now asked the way to the station in French, Russian and Spanish. He responds, "The the the the the the... " for no apparent reason.
    


31. Rob is not wearing his scout uniform as mandated because it is 43 miles away: so much for "Be Prepared!" He promises to wear it for the first meeting of next term however.
    


32. Anthony and Sibylle look cosy together, apparently.
    


33. The Elections are held, as follows:
    
    For the post of President: Ben M. Parker (proposed by Alasdair, seconded by Andrew). There is no opposition but he husts anyway, walking around the room. He comes in again twice and promises to fight Sheila (spit) on the beaches. Jon reminds everyone that Ben still owes him lines from school. Ben promises to send them back to his tutor to get them signed.
    Voting: F, 3 + 3 postal (6), Ag., 0, Abs., 2: Ben M. Parker is elected President of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society.
    
    For the post of Foreign Secretary: Ben M. Parker (proposed by Alasdair, seconded by Andrew), and Andrew Grantham (proposed by Ben, seconded by Vicky). Andrew isn't here so Ben husts for both of them. He uses the same speech for himself, but his suitability is questioned on the grounds that a Foreign Secretary ought to be able to find their own bloody way to the station. He then husts for Andrew, who remembers to spit at Sheila (spit) which is more than Ben/Ben did. He argues that Ben is clearly a dangerous schizophrenic, and mentions trainspotters and Yorkshire several times before degenerating into a Geoff Boycott impression.
    Voting: for Ben, 3; for Andrew, 1; Abs. 2. Ben is elected Foreign Secretary. However, he refuses the office and therefore as per the constitution the office falls to the next candidate in the ballot. Andrew Grantham is thus Foreign Secretary of the Society.
    


34. Jon attempts to quote the constitution on this, but can't since he's left it at home. He therefore gets soundly censured again: F, 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 2.
    


35. The office of Pooh is still vacant. Jon reluctantly agrees to stand on the grounds that he can muster a sort of deep voice, although Vicky thinks he's far too public-school. (Too public-school? Je ne comprends pas... ). No other candidates.
    Voting: F, 2, Ag. 1, Abs., 2; Jon is made Pooh.
    
    For the post of Piglet: Ben (proposed by Alasdair, seconded by Rob). There are no other candidates. F, 2, Ag., 2, Abs., 1; motion hung, and voting opened to the visitors. Their votes, F, 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 0; Ben is therefore made Piglet, God help us all.
    


36. I have in the notes that we were hot because we were excited. I must have been missing out here.
    


37. Voting for the post of Kanga; Sibylle is the only candidate (proposed by Rob, seconded by Vicky). F, 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 2; Sibylle is elected Kanga.
    
    For the post of Rabbit, Rob (proposed by Ben, seconded by Jon): F, 2, Ag., 0, Abs., 3; Rob is elected Rabbit.
    


38. Rob, Andrew and Peregrine depart. Shortly afterwards an Angela (not the Angela), whom Ben calls Madge arrives.
    


39. Voting for the post of Christopher Robin - no candidates.
    


40. The other business of the day is to amend the Constitution to stop one-person meetings being legal. Clause XXXVIII is therefore proposed to be altered to read: "XXXVIII. A meeting shall be deemed to be quorate in the presence of a quorum, which shall be 10% of the membership or three members, whichever shall be the greater, the which must include at least one member of the Committee. In the absence of a quorum a meeting's motions shall only be valid for the duration of that meeting." For, 3, Against, O, Abstentions 1; two-thirds majority, motion carried.
    


41. Jon points out that as it stands the constitution requires him to add that at the end, rather than incorporating it, and moves that he be allowed to amend Clause LV to remedy this. F, 3, Ag., 0, Abs., 1; two-thirds majority, motion carried. Clause LV is therefore to be amended to read: "XL. Amendments to the Constitution may only be made by the approval of a majority of two thirds of those present in General Meeting, and will be incorporated without identification into this revision of the Constitution."
    


42. Jon points out further that people just elected will be holding their offices only for a very short time before the AGM, and that he therefore thinks that at that time they should be left in place without election unless there should be a challenger. However, he garbles this so much that no-one understands him and he can't be bothered to repeat it. Thus another shaky step towards fascism is accomplished.
    


43. The reading is "In Which a House is Built at Pooh Corner for Eeyore," read I think by Ben.
    


44. Ben's Piglet voice almost settles for a brief and wonderful second. His schizophrenia is being put to good use here.
    


45. Vicky, as per tradition, cracks up totally and is unable to perform her rôle as Eeyore.
    


46. With the reading complete, we go about our business, as people are departing for Tatties. Votes to close: F., 2, Ag., 2, Abs., 1; motion hung, visitor to decide, F, 1, Ag., 0, Abs., 0. Meeting closed.
    

Return To Michaelmas 1996