Minutes of the Elevenses Meeting, 23/10/99

Held in E2A, Pembroke College, Cambridge.
Present: Owen, Jon, Martin, Pieter, Granny, Benedict, Jeremy, Michéal, Kirsten, Claire, Rob, Alison, Emily, Mike.
Apologies: Chris, Yasmin, Annelies, Ben, Rob, Rob, Henry.
Guests: Richard, Liz, Rosie.

  1. We debate the Rent March, which Jon had forgotten was on; it is the somewhat gloomy view of those present at this early stage of the meeting that the student population has left it far too late.

  2. Pieter arrives and retrospectively apologises for last week.

  3. Scandal passes quietly around the room in indiscreet fashion, but the Secretary eschews such unconfirmed supposition.

  4. Mike has recently started dancing as a man, apparently.

  5. We embarrass Claire by telling her she gets embarrassed easily.

  6. Have people been forging Emily's signature to steal a loo-brush or did I just mishear?

  7. Michéal has been saving the planet, and Granny impersonating somebody working.

  8. Claire wrote to Trading Standards over a chicken leg, and they have already swung into action; meanwhile Granny reports on Pembroke's failure to kill its steaks adequately before serving.

  9. Emily and Mike protest that we said they could be members now and can they, can they, please please please? There is an initial lack of support but Jon eventually provides support for Emily, and Mike sits on her. The voting falls: F., 8, Ag., 1, Abs., 3; carried. They therefore pay their Pooh Levies, while in the background Claire is attacked by boiling water.

  10. It is officially noted that Benedict is bigger.

  11. Vote that Claire is good at fairy-cakes: F., 10, Ag., 0, Abs., 1; carried, so she is.

  12. The Reading, as we remember ourselves slightly, is, "In Which Tigger Comes to the Forest and has Breakfast". Claire plays Kanga, Emily narrates and Owen reads Piglet from Granny's booby-trapped Testament.

  13. Rob clears his throat. And then doesn't.

  14. Michéal plays Tigger as a very strange animal.

  15. Ben arrives and interrupts things, so we vote that he sit down and shut up: F., 10, Ag., 0, Abs., 1; carried, but he is unable to comply directly due to having to decline when Kirsten asks him if he wants a baby.

  16. Rob departs and since space is rather tight Ben occupies the spot where he had been, with the expected compression problems.

  17. Benedict becomes excited and starts kissing Kirsten's ear, and she therefore collapses several times.

  18. Michéal requests that he read the minutes of last week's meeting, of which, Ben is proud to announce, there are 69. They lose the word 'Society' in transmission between Ben and Michéal, and are much better as we get to the bottom of the glass page.

  19. Alison arrives, and steals Owen's desk-lamp in very supplicatory fashion.

  20. Michéal interpolates a minute in which Jenny eats all the biscuits.

  21. The cheap tarts joke is made with all due ceremony.

  22. Ben fails to shut up as voted.

  23. We debate turning the Sheila and Her Dog Society (spit, spit) over to the Advertising Standards Authority on the strength of their "sex and chocolate" advertising, as to date we have only had the chocolate. However, it is decided that they can probably weasel their slippery way out of it because of not saying what they meant when they said it. Curse their infernal cunning!

  24. Liz leaves very quietly.

  25. Apparently the Chinese Professor visited the UL the same day as the Spanish Inquisition Hide-and-Seek!

  26. "Free Tibet!" (Kirsten) "With Every Gallon!" (Granny).

  27. Rosie turns up!

  28. We debate anew the scandal of Minute 3, but no-one knows quite what everybody else is talking about and Kirsten and Jon ask for a halt to be called in case anyone thinks they hear something that isn't true.

  29. Jeremy and Michéal mutter, "Linux," at a subliminal level.

  30. "Like a lawnmower in a condom factory" (Ben).

  31. We discuss fire regulations: we are pretty certain that we would still get fined if we got out onto the roof during a fire.

  32. Jeremy attempts to say 'Claire', but fails.

  33. Ben's leg is falling off.

  34. We hear that Mad Jenny has chained herself to the Senate House's railings, but our sources may be in error on this one, we feel.

  35. Benedict's trousers are too huge.

  36. Next week's meeting is the EGM and will be in the Inner Parlour if Ben books it in time. Vote to close: F., 8, Ag., 3 Abs., 2; closed.

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