Take one:

Present: Alison, Naath, Dunstan, Rosy, (Owen, Roz)

1. Meeting opened.
   


2. Owen and Roz arrive. Owen opens another meeting.
   


3. The Secretary and Under Secretary act swiftly. A motion to close this meeting is proposed, seconded, and...
   


4. Meeting closed. (Phew, no parallel minuting this week.)
   

Take two:

Present: Alison, Naath, Dunstan, Rosy, Owen, Roz, Martin, Rachel, Katie, Neil.

Apologies: John-h, Jenny, Rosie

1. Meeting opened.
   


2. Naath sets off to buy cake. But returns empty handed.
   


3. Alison goes to buy drinks.
   


4. Naath the human voodoo doll. We’ll stick pins in her and see if anyone screams. Naath perhaps?
   


5. 1980s TV
   


6. Balls and Events. Advertising standards?
   


7. Poohsticks is a Radical Science Event. Passed.
   


8. Your standing apology has expired. Would you like to renew it?
   


9. Neil’s not here. Is he still shut in Rachel’s shower?
   


10. Katie met both of Roz.
    


11. Our fame goes before us. Or perhaps under us.
    


12. A man with a levitating ladder. Passed.
    


13. Addition to the rules of Poohsticks: Don’t try to play with the minutes, they don’t qualify as a stick (aww, go on, they’re made from trees... OK so the biro wasn’t, but you can’t have everything.)
    


14. Roz will commiserate with Alison "later" in the privacy of Owen’s room.
    


15. Roz has to observe those geese: Passed
    


16. Under the bridge there is a goblin which ties lead weights to Alison’s sticks.
    


17. Roz will dance to Owen’s: Passed
    


18. The Cam mutates sticks so that they sink.
    


19. A permanent post.
    


20. Owen is suffering an identity crisis. Is he a man or a bicycle?
    


21. Votes to commend the Scottish chap at the council for ensuring that the little traffic light men have green noses to go with their green suits as well as red ones to go with their red suits, so that they can join in with Comic Relief without causing confusion and mortality amongst the pedestrians of Cambridge: Passed
    


22. Votes to censure the bicycle for not being in the bicycle lane, but instead in the bicycle shed.
    


23. Katie doesn’t understand. (It’s OK, nor do the rest of us)
    


24. Hurray! It’s the Samovar (Samowar?) (big Russian-style tea thing)
    


25. Alien hybrid Poohs and Tiggers.
    


26. Cryptic Roo Juice messages.
    


27. Biscuit hustings (wrapped, chocolate coated):
    


28. Classic, Penguin, Viscount
    


29. Viscounts: an investment for the future.
    


30. Rachel is late. And Late.
    


31. Jesuans are taking over, but aren’t Jesuits.
    


32. We should make Neil a Probationary Martyr: Passed
    


33. We shouldn’t cover members of the Society in Chocolate.
    


34. Votes to censure Rachel for being Late: Passed
    


35. Votes to censure John-h for not enclosing Clause 57 in the minutes.
    


36. Minutes of the meeting on 8th March 2003 read by Owen, Alison, Rosy, Roz, Rachel C and Dunstan.
    


37. Votes to censure the minuter. Carried.
    


38. Rachel always causes chaos.
    


39. Votes to censure John-h for not putting the right minute in minute 118. Carried
    


40. The meeting: Carried
    


41. No-one wants to let Neil in. Passed. But he’s got in already, so no one needs to.
    


42. Rachel C has to come back with a map (an inaccurate map) of how to get to the loo.
    


43. Neil needs a penguin.
    


44. Roz thinks that Neil needs a penguin to practice on.
    


45. Neil can’t stop Maths debating in meetings. He’s trying to involve Martin. They discuss screwing.
    


46. Is it sticky?
    


47. Neil, have you still got that form?
    


48. I’ve brought it with me. (Small pause) I’m on form today.
    


49. T-shirts.
    


50. Mathematician is a very dangerous word.
    


51. When Ecstatic wears that hat he looks like Nelson.
    


52. Votes to make Dunstan Hardy. Passed.
    


53. When he’s got the hat on that way round he’s Beef Wellington.
    


54. Ecstatic has to:
    Have an eye put out.
    Have an arm cut off.
    Have an affair with an adulterous woman (and her husband).
    Get shot.
    Kiss Hardy.
    Die.
    Get pickled.
    And Get an enormous column
    


55. Naath will erect it.
    


56. Votes to shoot Martin: Passed
    


57. Neil secretes bullets. How fast he does this depends on whether he is under threat.
    


58. Roz shoots Naath.
    


59. They need to breathe into a paper bag.
    


60. Plastic: Passed
    


61. Votes to make Neil the Society Treasure. Failed
    


62. I don’t want to know what disappears between Naath’s legs. (Owen)
    Seconded - But if it’s been minuted I’ll withdraw (Alison)
    


63. Neil stands corrected.
    


64. Owen’s lost his touch.
    


65. Our house name is "Neil Roques"
    


66. We’ll have to scaffold this conversation if it gets any dodgier.
    


67. Silence - Samovar noises.
    


68. Roz passes Martin a pair of handcuffs, he’s really enjoying them.
    


69. In order to bolster the account, we will go around robbing banks. Passed. Vetoed.
    


70. We’ll invest a bolster instead.
    


71. Padding the accounts sounds worryingly Enron (or maybe it’s just a fabrication).
    


72. Roz is going to shoot herself in a minute. Hung. CR against.
    


73. Roz was thinking about what would happen if someone in an alternate reality replaced the unloaded, plastic gun with a real, loaded one. Probably if someone in that sort of reality has it in for you you’ve had it.
    


74. Biscuit vote:
    Classic: 4
    Penguin: 2
    Viscount: 4
    Hung, revote between Classic and Viscount
    Classic: 5
    Viscount: 6
    Viscounts win
    


75. Whenever you find a splodge it’s never as good as you imagined.
    


76. Soggy logs are not good wood.
    


77. More SCARY LAUGHTER from Rachel C and Naath. Various theories as to why.
    


78. Votes to censure Rachel C for trying to give everyone else in the house a headache. Passed
    


79. If you put the bullet in Owen’s body it changes the map.
    


80. "There’s nothing between Alison and me" Owen
    


81. Votes to censure Neil for taking over the minutes: Passed
    


82. Votes to censure the Under Secretary for failing to rescue the Minutes in their moment of need. Carried
    


83. It is the job of the Treasurer to add things.
    


84. Votes to censure Neil for old times’ sake. Passed
    


85. I hope you would be decent with me all the time. (Alison to Neil)
    


86. Votes to censure all the Coastguards for not providing all the testaments. Hung CR decides For.
    


87. Votes to censure Alison (as Coastguard) for misuse of the Society Testaments. Carried.
    


88. Rachel and Rosie must be twins as Roz has only done it once.
    


89. Hello. I’m selling double glazing salesmen.
    


90. Alison’s got some protector things for the testaments.
    


91. Katie has to look over Roz’s shoulder. Hung CR Against.
    


92. We’ll narrate clockwise, but Alison will narrate anticlockwise.
    (At which point I went to dinner, leaving the minuting to the Under-Secretary: there should be more minutes somewhere!)
    


93. Alison kicks Martin repeatedly for not getting up.
    


94. Votes to close: Passed
    


95. Naath’s mother won’t bring her up on Easter Sunday, she gives her up for lent.
    


96. Votes to censure Roz for shooting a member of the society: Passed
    


97. We don’t what to know what Martin has against Alison and Roz’s trousers.
    


98. Another premature discharge.
    


99. "I’m tired Owen, Do I have to do anything tonight? You can play by yourself." Roz
    


100. "I don’t have pooh on my head usually- just a shelf" Owen
     


101. Owen and Dunstan get comfy on Owen’s bed as Dunstan’s has springs coming out of it.
     


102. We plan to make money for the society by selling "Dunstan’s naturally sparkling water"
     


103. "I don’t want to know about Dunstan’s experience with penguins" Owen
     


104. We decide to dip Neil in chocolate and sell him.
     

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