Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society, held on the 22nd March 2003 in 1, 3 Selwyn Gardens

Present: Rob (??), Owen (BA (Hons)), Alison (MMath) Martin (BA), Ecstatic (no qualifications to speak of), Rosy (ditto), Rachel C (ditto, I assume), Ben Parker (MA Cantab, DipCompSci), Jenny Davies (BA, MSc, DIC)

Guests: Jeremy Saunders (MA, PhD, MSci), Joy Sahar (MA, MSci), Michael Alexander (MA, MSci, 0=0 (a tautology- he insisted, don’t ask me!)), Andrew Grantham (MA, MSci), Alison Farmer (MA, MSci), Robert Specterman (MA, NuLab), Faustino Obeso (your guess is as good as mine)

Apologies: Dunstan, Jenny (apology still standing), Rosie


  1. Meeting opened.

  2. This is the fully official meeting no matter what Owen says: Passed

  3. Votes to censure Martin for being mean to Alison: Passed

  4. Votes to censure Owen for not being here: Failed

  5. Votes to demonstrate dust resuspension using Martin: Failed

  6. The meeting arrives at 1, 3 Selwyn Gardens.

  7. It is followed shortly afterwards by a huge number of Old Pembrokians.

  8. Jenny bounces on the bed.

  9. Some (presumably) very old jokes. I don’t understand them. They seem to amuse the Old Pembrokian contingent.

  10. We have two virgin PoohSoc-ers.

  11. Everybody down! (Jenny)

  12. Minutes of the meeting on the 15/3/03 are read.

  13. Votes to censure the meeting take 1 for not having a reading.

  14. It is pointed out that as another meeting was running in parallel to it (however briefly), Take 1 was unconstitutional and didn’t need a reading.

  15. Owen, I do apologise, I’ve just made a wet patch on your bed. (Jenny)

  16. High-pitched anti-microsoft noises by Ben. More indecipherable jokes.

  17. In the fluids department you have to drive tanks. Passed

  18. The "Two Fish" and "Two Parrots" jokes resurface.

  19. Michael’s trousers. (I was told to minute them, I don’t know why.)

  20. First occurrence of the Mr. Kipling’s Tarts joke.

  21. Granny hijacks the minutes. Ben makes ye olde Mr. Kipling/ tarts/ cream joke.

  22. In an outbreak of politics, should the buns be "Freedom Fancies"? As ever, no conclsion is reached.

  23. The meeting begins to fragment into cliques, but is brought back on course when half a Bakewell Tart circumnavigates the room.

  24. Granny has the minutes but isn’t actually minuting anything. Obviously this statement is false.

  25. a) Ben prances around the room on a broomstick. Like his women. b) He then discusses techniques for games with biscuits. (No doubt this minute has been done before, but the old ones are the best.)

  26. Arizona State University has lost its Pythons and Hyphens (and a tiny nosserous too)

  27. As I’m minuting I should probably have taken an interest in whatever that vote was. Robert and Friend leave. "Goodbye Rob" is shouted.

  28. Vote to postpone the (third set of) minutes until Ben’s not here: Passed

  29. The Reading: "In which Pooh goes visiting and gets into a tight place."

  30. Martin has a PURPLE shirt. How things have changed since our day.

  31. Martin and <insert name here> (Alison) leave.

  32. ?? No. But surely? Perhaps not? Maybe? Martin? (I transcribe verbatim from Granny’s notes)

  33. Michael is talking about tentacles. Some things don’t change.

  34. Jenny accuses Joy of making a disgustingly sexy comment.

  35. Mr. Kipling vote:
    Red Nose Cakes: 1
    French Fancies: 1
    Angel Slices: 0
    Hung, try again
    Red Nose Cakes: 1
    French Fancies: 2
    Angel Slices: 0
    French Fancies win. This means nothing except that it goes on the website.

  36. In the interests of taste and decency, a pause in the minutes.

  37. Ben had a lot to drink last night. He wasn’t the only one...

  38. "You utter bitch I hate you and I want to tear your face off" I think I’ve upset Mike. He changes his mind "I apologise for my bitchiness"
  39. .
  40. Jenny wearing just a gown, a drag queen in a pink wig, and a fellow, all passing on the staircase. "It happened in your room, on your bed"

  41. He would have gored me to pieces. (Michael)

  42. Owen has radioactive piles and a huge box.

  43. Votes to close: Passed


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©The Pembroke College Winnie-The-Pooh Society 2003.

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