1. Once you've paid your pooh levy the society owns you: Passed (7 December 2002)
   


2. Jenny imagines Andrew is soft and succulent and exceedingly good.
   He claims to have more than 964kJ per serving though. (3 March 2001)
   


3. We are drinking Lucky Heather Tea. Awful, but Lucky. (11 December 1999)
   


4. Rob is not wearing his scout uniform as mandated because it is 43 miles away: so much for "Be Prepared!" He promises to wear it for the first meeting of next term however (7 December 1996)
   


5. Sewing your hand on defeats the point of chopping it off. (25 May 2002)
   


6. Votes to censure Tom for putting his fiancée above the society: Passed (23 November 2002)
   


7. Huw arrives, with Mr. Men socks on. Huw's socks will have to be left to the nation. (11 May 1996)
   


8. Anthony is going red again. He claims it's the tea, as usual, but coming on quicker due to the strength. (15 February 1997)
   


9. We wonder why nobody has apologised. It may be a Monday, we might not have told anybody and it might be outside termtime, but that is no excuse! (17 September 2001)
   


10. Ben M. Parker is given the minutes of the last meeting(s) of last year, and proceeds to read them. After a minute, he realises we meant him to read out loud, which he does with some amazement. (12 October 1996)
    


11. John-h wants relatively hot water, relative to the center of the sun: Passed
    John-h is going to be very disappointed: Passed (9 November 2002)
    


12. By an amazing act of ventriloquism, Pauli, in fine voice, and musical mood, convincingly pretends he is an entire symphony orchestra, and gives a spontaneous, and carefully conducted performance of Peter and the Wolf. The bassoon section is particularly skilled, though tone is lacking in the piccolos, and a higher voice is required (1 June 1996)
    


13. We meet 48,000 mathmos. The mathmo resistance are making progress in their secret mission to rule Cambridge! (6 June 1998)
    


14. Votes to try mating all the female members of the society in turn with the cow to produce a minatour: Passed (30 November 2002)
    


15. Angela's arm falls off after a hands-linking contest. No, really. (2 November 1996)
    


16. Adulterous women can cause a church to stop using prayerbooks and go downhill. The church half-way up Huntingdon road used to be at the top of the hill, it slipped. (6 October 2002)
    


17. Jeremy composes himself. He is now in three movements, with a nice recapitulation towards the end of the crescendo at the beginning of the allegro. (24 June 2000)
    


18. Jenny wore 3 shoes while she was at home. We question her about the number of feet she has. (15 June 2001)
    


19. Andrew has brought some painted nails instead of painting his nails. We are still not happy, especially what with the lack of a tutu for the umpteenth week running. (18 January 1997)
    


20. Rosie had a blank film developed. She has not brought the photos for us to see, but claims that they are all similar shades of gray (12 January 2002)
    


21. Claire attacks the chocolate cake on Owen's behalf, to make sure the poisonous bit is given to the right person. (21 October 2000)
    


22. A petrol tanker, if you were to light it to produce a bang, is a firework. (10 November 2001)
    


23. We commend Roz for trying to get the Proctor to join (13 October 2002)
    


24. Tim and James get into a discussion about watches: analogue or digital? Sarah proclaims, "Hands are fun!" "Well, yes, I know," responds James. (4 May 1996)
    


25. Fellows on stepladders with binoculars in the Fellows car park looking into Martin's room. (15 June 2001)
    


26. Once in the room Oliver starts minuting, as Andrew is disposing of the evidence of his attempt at breaking and entering. We note that there is no-one called Owen present (continuing a long but previously unnoticed tradition...?). (2 May 1998)
    


27. Lord Sainsbury makes Neil stack zebras (28 April 2002)
    


28. Alex has left to pick someone up at the bus station (isn't that illegal???) (14 May 1994)
    


29. Naath is not going to wash her hair until she is king. Votes to mandate Naath to either wash her hair or not come to meetings (F: 4 A: 0 Ab: 1 - motion carried). (18 January 2003)
    


30. Mustard (at least once a term since 16 June 2001)
    


31. Andrew reports that he saw a train called D9000 in Hull; shockingly, Jon shows every sign of understanding what he's talking about! Rob spends much of the rest of the meeting going through Andrew's cupboards pulling out old spotter jotters and snickering in a patronising manner. (1 February 1997)
    


32. Helen inquires after Sarah's plasticine brain. Well that explains a few things... (9 March 1996)
    


33. Alison has [stolen the rest of this minute by the looks of it] (7 December 2002)
    


34. La fréquence Ben monte et tombe tout d'un coup pendant que Becky change sa position sur ses jambes (18 February 1999)
    


35. We finish the reading whilst waiting for the train. At this point it is noticed that Owen is sitting on a station platform with a pen and paper making notes. Owen quickly moves onto the next minute. (13 January 2001)
    


36. "I can remember only one poem. It's sneezels and weezles and I'm not sure I can remember that" Jonathan (16 November 2002)
    


37. Apparently Andrew broke into Newnham. Appearances can be deceptive, however, and we discover that in fact it was more a case of not breaking into Newnham, since Dave Henderson's charm failed to convince the Night Porter that they were residents (29 November 1997)
    


38. It's still February - so Christmas tea! (14 February 2001)
    


39. The possibility of getting a Society hovercraft is discussed: Jon points out that you can make one out of a paper cup, one of those polystyrene pallets you get chicken on and sellotape. Apparently Sarah once saw a Blue Peter programme about hovercraft. (9 March 1996)
    


40. We want to post Rosy. Ben duly attaches a second class stamp to her forehead (pre-stickified so no spit is needed). She'll get there by Christmas. (23 November 2002)
    


41. Helen remarks that she dreamed about the Dean last night. Tor talks about his beard. Someone should shave it off when he is drunk as a jolly jape. Helen thinks we should only shave off half and then watch him try to lead Evensong standing sideways! (18 February 1995)
    


42. Neil wants to know what is being written in the minutes. Owen informs him that he cannot possibly know what is happening this week until next week. (12 January 2002)
    


43. Dave Henderson is mentioned. (numerous occasions)
    


44. The devil has a red umbrella. (11 November 2000)
    


45. We must not mention that Dunstan is at Homerton (2 November 2002)
    


46. Someone proposes a motion to calm Mad Jenny. We inquire of her exactly what motion she prefers for this, but unfortunately get no useful reply, so she has to remain agitated. (7 May 1999)
    


47. If you don't want to be stabbed with a screwdriver, don't stab yourself with a screwdriver: Proverb 17th Century. (5 May 2002)
    


48. Votes to plant some of the mini Jaffa cakes to see if they will grow. F:0, A:6, Ab:1. (4 March 2000)
    


49. A small herd of pygmy elephants waltzes past the window, but only Jon notices and he can't tell anyone because a mouthful of cake. Even now I feel somehow sure that people won't believe me... (9 January 1999)
    


50. We take people on the edge of sanity and give them a firm whack over: Passed (9 November 2002)
    


51. Ben leaves the room briefly, and we vote to automatically censure Ben every two minutes, timed by the radio-alarm clock
    In total, Ben was censured 30 times under the two minute rule, so not all have been minuted. (2 May 1998)
    


52. Election for the post of "Person to be eaten in an emergency".
    Owen
    Rosie
    RON (elected) (12 February 2002)
    


53. Caterpillars don't have wheels (18 March 2000)
    


54. Tor says Sarah can read "Lines and Squares" if she does it in one breath. Vicky says she can't stand it even then. Sarah is allowed to attempt the feat. Vicky moans "Oh no", and covers her ears with her hood and her scarf (it says "Oh know" in my notes, but I think that was just me, er, mis-hearing it...) (27 January 1996)
    


55. Christopher Robin learns for an hour a day, which makes him twice as educated as us at least. (15 February 1997)
    


56. Votes to censure Neil 7,999 times (as 8,000 is too harsh): Passed (30 November 2002)
    


57. Santa, she lives in Taunton. (20 January 2001)
    


58. At this point the minutes read that Anthony is donating a Russian. He wrote them, so we expect it at the next meeting. (4 October 1997)
    


59. Tartan paint with secret passages (21 April 2002)
    


60. Votes that if Poohsoc is still around in 50 years they have to invite us all back for dinner: Passed (18 March 2001)
    

* A redesignation of 1 February 2003 (see minutes of the Elevenses meeting of the Society on 12/1/2003

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